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8 Things Your Go-To Starbucks Order Says About You, According To A Long-Time Barista

During my time as a barista, I've picked up on some patterns that are too good not to mention.

Emily_White_

Oct 18, 2020

The Narrative

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three person holding different cups of coffee

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A Pink Drink

@gppark1221

You're probably between the ages of 15 and 22. You're pretty good at makeup and can serve up some mad looks from the considerable amount of time you've sunk into watching James Charles.

You love the beach and you post on Instagram daily.

An Iced Chai Latte

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You're definitely a college student and you're so chill. You're pretty easy to please and enjoy the simpler things in life. You have a gorgeous laugh and you're literally so sweet to everyone.

You've probably worked in customer service before and you know what it's like, so you're everyone's favorite customer.

Black Coffee

person holding orange cup filled with dark brown color liquid

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You're a 60-year-old man. You probably yell a little too loudly at the speaker in the drive-through. That is all. That's all I've got for this one.

Salted Caramel Cream Cold Brew

round white ceramic mug near clear glass cup filled with black liquid on table

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You're adventurous. You like trying new things, and climbing a mountain or scuba diving is probably on your bucket list if you haven't done those things already.

You've got big dreams and a busy schedule, and your cold brew is a sweet little addition to your routine.

Iced Caramel Cloud Macchiato

shallow focus photo of brown liquid in clear drinking glass

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You're usually scared to try new things, but you liked the caramel macchiato so you figured this would be a safe bet.

Now this is your regular drink because it makes you feel fancy.

Pumpkin Spice Latte

person holding cup of coffee with pumpkins and orange leaves around them

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You seriously love autumn and this is one of the highlights of your year. You can't get enough of spooky season, flannels, Halloween, and crunchy fallen leaves. You love baking cookies and you probably share them with everyone.

Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino

@starbucks

This is probably your mom's drink. She saw it on the promo menu when you brought her with you. She panicked because she didn't know what to order, and she's stuck with it ever since.

Nitro Cold Brew With Sweet Cream

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You're a master of procrastination and you're always so tired but you're getting that degree! You're getting that homework done at 3AM!

You don't acknowledge the existence of sleep. Who needs sleep when you have nitro?

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Recommended for you

8 Things Your Go-To Starbucks Order Says About You, According To A Long-Time Barista

During my time as a barista, I've picked up on some patterns that are too good not to mention.

In This Article:

A Pink Drink

An Iced Chai Latte

Black Coffee

Salted Caramel Cream Cold Brew

Iced Caramel Cloud Macchiato

Pumpkin Spice Latte

Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino

Nitro Cold Brew With Sweet Cream

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This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

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