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8 Things Your Go-To Starbucks Order Says About You, According To A Long-Time Barista

During my time as a barista, I've picked up on some patterns that are too good not to mention.

Emily_White_

Oct 18, 2020

The Narrative

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three person holding different cups of coffee

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A Pink Drink

@gppark1221

You're probably between the ages of 15 and 22. You're pretty good at makeup and can serve up some mad looks from the considerable amount of time you've sunk into watching James Charles.

You love the beach and you post on Instagram daily.

An Iced Chai Latte

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You're definitely a college student and you're so chill. You're pretty easy to please and enjoy the simpler things in life. You have a gorgeous laugh and you're literally so sweet to everyone.

You've probably worked in customer service before and you know what it's like, so you're everyone's favorite customer.

Black Coffee

person holding orange cup filled with dark brown color liquid

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You're a 60-year-old man. You probably yell a little too loudly at the speaker in the drive-through. That is all. That's all I've got for this one.

Salted Caramel Cream Cold Brew

round white ceramic mug near clear glass cup filled with black liquid on table

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You're adventurous. You like trying new things, and climbing a mountain or scuba diving is probably on your bucket list if you haven't done those things already.

You've got big dreams and a busy schedule, and your cold brew is a sweet little addition to your routine.

Iced Caramel Cloud Macchiato

shallow focus photo of brown liquid in clear drinking glass

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You're usually scared to try new things, but you liked the caramel macchiato so you figured this would be a safe bet.

Now this is your regular drink because it makes you feel fancy.

Pumpkin Spice Latte

person holding cup of coffee with pumpkins and orange leaves around them

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You seriously love autumn and this is one of the highlights of your year. You can't get enough of spooky season, flannels, Halloween, and crunchy fallen leaves. You love baking cookies and you probably share them with everyone.

Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino

@starbucks

This is probably your mom's drink. She saw it on the promo menu when you brought her with you. She panicked because she didn't know what to order, and she's stuck with it ever since.

Nitro Cold Brew With Sweet Cream

clear glass jar on brown wooden coaster on table

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You're a master of procrastination and you're always so tired but you're getting that degree! You're getting that homework done at 3AM!

You don't acknowledge the existence of sleep. Who needs sleep when you have nitro?

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Recommended for you

8 Things Your Go-To Starbucks Order Says About You, According To A Long-Time Barista

During my time as a barista, I've picked up on some patterns that are too good not to mention.

In This Article:

A Pink Drink

An Iced Chai Latte

Black Coffee

Salted Caramel Cream Cold Brew

Iced Caramel Cloud Macchiato

Pumpkin Spice Latte

Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino

Nitro Cold Brew With Sweet Cream

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It's Been a Long Winter Break

Making the world safer through language.

1. Use singular they for people whose pronouns you don't know, people who use those pronouns, and stop using him/her.

2. Stop using the words "opposite sex" or "both sexes" or "opposite gender" or "both genders".

3. Ask people's pronouns when you meet them.

4. Use the word cisgender.

5. Stop saying "born a boy/girl" about a transgender or non-binary person.

6. Stop using the term 'preferred pronouns'.

7. Stop using a transgender or non-binary person's dead name.

Sometimes, we just can't help the feelings we have

1. Wow. My voice sounds amazing with this song.

2. Okay, if you can't sing, don't do it.

3. But wait, I don't think I can be friends with someone who isn't going to jam out in the car with me.

4. Dance part in the car! Even when I'm alone. Because every song is my favorite.

5. Stop light. Act calm. Be cool.

6. Yes! Green light! Back at it!

7. I don't know this song, but I'm going to sing along anyway.

8. Why am I not famous yet?

9. Being next to someone who can't sing so you feel good about yourself because you rock!

10. OK, I'm so good. I need to sing louder so I can help these people out.

11. My voice doesn't reach some of those notes, maybe I should sit this one out.

12. Randomly bursting out in song and getting weird looks because of it.

13. God, thank you so much for giving me a good voice.

14. Man, I feel bad for people who can't sing.

15. Was I just humming? Did they hear me?

16. Having dance moves to go along with most songs.

17. Not being able to stop yourself at correcting people when they mess up.

18. Maybe I should post myself singing.

19. Nah, can't do it. Dumb idea.

20. Having my own personal concert in the shower. Every single time.

Normal people wouldn't understand

1. Having time to nap between classes or at all.

2. Waking up 10 minutes before your class starts and making it there in time.

3. Making it to class in general

4. Only having to hit the snooze button three times.

5. When you didn't do the homework and the teacher decides not to collect it for that day.

6. Getting that "I'm sorry, but class is cancelled" email.

7. Finding a quiet seat in the library.

8. Actually enjoying a class and understanding all of the material.

9. Having a friend to eat lunch with.

10. Finishing an assignment before the due date.

11. When there is free food on campus.

Becuase of all things to be addicted to, you're addicted to making money.

1. You can't remember your last day off.

2. Whenever someone asks to hang out, you're working.

3. When you do see your friends, you're in a "treating mood."

4. You work so much you don't have time to spend the money you're making.

5. You're too tired to function when you aren't working.

6. Finally seeing your friends and having way too much to catch up on.

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