For those who need a translation, BDubs = Buffalo Wild Wings, the sensational restaurant that serves food seemingly stolen from some type of food gods and crafted again and again for our unworthy, mortal satisfaction. Eating BDubs' wings is a spiritual experience. Of course, because this experience is so intense and borderline sensual, people choose their type and flavor of wing carefully as to get the best experience possible. In doing so, certain flavors become indicative of some inner-workings of a person -- their wing of choice can describe who they are. Here's what I've found when looking at wings and the personalities attracted to them (actual personalities may vary):
Boneless vs Traditional Wings
First off, to address the feud that I have seen tear families apart: boneless wings vs traditional wings. The categories include a broad variety of people, but traditional seem to be eaten largely by those from older generations. Boneless wings, however, seem to be eaten by those who are younger and see the benefits of getting all of the sauce from the wing in their mouths instead of on their hands, shirt, pants, table and possibly definitely the person sitting next to them.
Additionally, boneless wings allow for the consumer to get as much chicken as possible, regardless of how good they are at cleaning meat off of a bone. They are easier to eat and usually leave no use for a napkin unless you eat like me and have the ability to get sauce on the small of your back. When finished with traditional wings, though, a pile of bones is left. It is to be believed that those who eat traditional wings revel at the sight of their broken enemies as a reassurance that they, indeed, are the optimus maximus person in the room and will eat the wings of anyone who challenges them. Evolution has left this in their DNA and we can do nothing to stop it but sit back let their savage side run free for a bit.
Sweet BBQ
Sweet BBQ is close to the bottom when it comes to spice. Just as the description says, it has a nice, sweet barbecue flavor. I, for one, have not tasted it, myself, nor have I ever met someone who eats them. It seems to be one of the less popular flavors, possibly because of its lack of spice and, therefore, lack of a challenge or vigor. It is what it is - nothing more, nothing less.
Personality: The consumers of this sauce have a kind of here-I-am personality and they're straightforward with the fact that spice is not their thing, along with whatever else is not their thing. On the down side, they may not even be able to eat something that has a bit too much pepper on it because it might be too spicy. On the up side, if you ever need someone to taste for poison in food, they are your person.
Honey BBQ
Honey barbecue is the category with the largest variety of people because it's the perfect balance between spice and taste. When taking a bite, one can feel the harmony dancing on their tongue with every beautiful bite. The honey barbecue wing is for the people who want to enjoy spice without needing to drink water every 10 seconds - regardless of the fact that it doesn't actually help - and cease breathing to quell the fire.
Personality: Anywhere from outgoing and joyful to introverted and pessimistic. Honey barbecue enthusiasts are everywhere and come in all forms. It is the great middle ground on which everyone can stand.
Asian Zing
Asian zing is a sauce that is kind of like a deal with the Devil: its taste is an experience you've only dreamed of up until that point but, by the end of chewing that piece, you get the fire. Eating a few of these in a row may put you on a different plane of existence, but you can only stay there for so long and falling from Heaven burns on the way down.
Personality: More outgoing and confident than their every-day, honey-bbq-eating brethren. They tend to see chances as worth taking because the reward could be great, despite the possible danger. May or may not be inclined to buy a bottle of the sauce and put it on every dish they can.
Blazin'
The Blazin' sauce is that of which you hear about from the darkest nightmares and the sweetest dreams. It's a sauce that can reduce the strongest person to a sauce-covered, broken mess. It's the hottest sauce that BDubs has ever put out and now, after the ghost pepper sauce proved to be so popular, is made with ghost pepper and the essence of dragons' flames mixed with sirens' tears. These wings beckon to poor souls who learn to enjoy the feeling of their tongue melting and their blood being replaced by streams of lava.
Personality: Always up for a challenge, including food challenges. These people tend to be those who want to do anything and everything people tell them they can't do. They can be very intense in any given situation and may or may not be one of the people who scream at the TV screen.
