Ah yes, Friday night. Finally, after a long week of work or school, we can relax. Go out for a drink, dance, the world is our oyster. Oh wait, the world it your oyster. My work week is just beginning! I work in a bar, and I really need you to know these things.

Light/ No ice ≠ a stronger drink

Honestly I don’t even know why this is such a misconception. There’s a certain amount of alcohol in each drink… A shot has the same amount of alcohol as a mixed drink. You saying you want light ice just means you’ll get more soda in the drink.

Specialty drinks are a nightmare on busy nights

If it’s a Saturday night, and the bar is packed, the last think I want to hear you order is a Caesar. I can make 20x the amount of regular mixed drinks in the time it takes to make one caesar. Seriously. By all means order one if that’s your drink of choice, but just know that it will take a little longer.

Tip for the service, not the amount

I work at a bar in North Dakota, and my position is server/bartender. This means that I make less than $5 per hour. Bars always have specials going on, so that might mean that you can get a pizza, a pitcher of beer and a couple of rails for less than $20. However, I still served you as if they were full price. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Don’t leave me your number

Odds are, if you’re drunk enough to leave your number on a receipt accompanied with an explicit drawing, I wasn’t swooning over you.

Don’t yell for my attention

If it’s super busy in the bar, I get it, it can take so long to get a drink. But trust me, I’m trying. Rudely yelling at me to get my attention or worse, snapping, might make me want to help a couple of people before you, on purpose. One time a man came up to the bar and started banging his fists on the counter, and chanted, “BUD LIGHT, BUT LIGHT”, like a two year old about ice cream. Honestly the best way to wait for a drink is to just visibly have your money or credit card ready, and trying to make eye contact.

I can't surprise you

Please don’t ask me to surprise you when it comes to what drink you get. I don’t know what you like! Beer?? A fruity mixed drink? Whiskey? If it’s not busy, just ask about the different drinks. Google something, I don’t know. Most of the time, if you ask me to surprise you, I really try to pick something I think you might like, but I just can’t know for sure. Please at least specify the type of drink.

I can’t over-pour

If you want something stranger than a standard mixed drink, you should order a double! Believe it or not, bars take extremely close inventory of their bottles, and a little here, and a little there makes a difference.

So yes, enjoy your weekend! Keep these things in mind, though.