Growing up we all had a million answers for what we wanted to be when we got older: a teacher, vet, pilot, astronaut. And then the question became more specific, realistic, demanding, in need of an official answer rather than an excited imagination in a young soul. I like to call that stage: high school. I used to wonder why it seemed like all of my friends had it all figured out and well, I didn’t. Now I’m not even sure what that means. I can tell you right now that the truth is, no one has it all figured out, nor will they ever have every little detail planned out, because the world and our lives are constantly changing. The world rotates, jobs circulate, people appear and disappear, the change is never-ending. I didn’t know what I wanted to go to school for after high school and I spent so much time stressing about the fact as the time to decide crept up on me. My best friend had this wonderful plan to go away to school for nursing, but there I was, unsure of what I “wanted to do with my life.” It took me a while, but I finally realized there is no single, concrete answer I can give you if you ask me what I want to do for the rest of however many days I have to live this beautiful life. Think about it, the phone could ring any second with a new opportunity screaming your name. Life is full of surprises and new adventures and not everyone was put on this earth to know their desires at a young age and stick to one path, so why should I be worried? I should be enjoying the beauty in the uncertainty of where my next stop will be. I should keep moving along and making the most of every step.
I won’t speak for everyone, but social media makes comparisons so easy. You scroll through Instagram or Facebook and see a girl from high school looking stunning at a football game, followed by another picture of her and her friends at their big college party, and it just looks like she has it all going for her, as if she knows exactly what she wants and she’s making it happen. So why am I feeling like this—unsure? That’s the problem with social media. No one’s life is perfect, but the internet makes that look possible. She’s not going to post a picture of her crying or in an argument with her boyfriend or a failing grade she received on a test. That’s private, behind the scenes, moments not meant to be captured by everyone. We edit out the flaws by not posting what we don’t want seen. No one makes an effort for the world to see those “not-so-pretty” moments, we don’t even think of it really, those moments just happen, they’re just expected reality. We all cry, laugh, need, fail and want. Maybe you always assumed she had everything figured out and tucked nicely in the back of her mind because she always looked happy, and I think the only destination there is in life is happiness after all. So she’s human like the rest of us, she hurts, she cries, but she also smiles and loves. She’s human too. Don’t be blindsided by media.
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Remember, everyone has struggles. You are not behind, you are not doing it wrong, you are not alone. There are no instructions on life even when we wish there were on some of our darker days. In my moments of weakness, I remind myself that life is a beautiful journey that I’m so lucky to have the chance of traveling through, and I will move along. I’m not going to stress about what I want to do, life is too short and exciting for that. I’m going to keep putting new experiences under my belt and keep moving forward. It’s not about what went right and what went so wrong, it’s about the lessons, memories, and smiles gained along the way. So the next time you’re overwhelmed or feel lost, take a deep breath. This is your life, your timeline, your expectations. As long as you're trying your best and being the best version of yourself, you’re doing a heck of a lot right in this world. You were meant to explore—physically and mentally.
So, what do I want to do with my life? I’ve decided I’m going to do what makes me happy. I'm going to be happy.
