What you tolerate, you worry about. This is a quote from Isabelle Mercier, whose Ted Talk I ran across recently. You know when you hear something that just strikes a cord? When you think about it, you just go, damn. That was this line for me, so much so that I figured I'd relay the message Isabelle was conveying.
Let's start with defining what it means to tolerate something in your life. To tolerate a thing is to accept it, despite you thinking it's unacceptable. It is to say yes when you think you should say no. The things we tolerate in life are the things we either don't care to change, or don't recognize the pattern. Either way, they eventually all drive us to worry.
What are some of things we tolerate? Destructive relationships, jam-packed schedules, procrastination, unhappy jobs, just to name a few. Now consider how many of our daily worries are rooted in these four examples alone. I'd venture it's a good amount.
What you tolerate, you worry about.
It's no secret that the overwhelming majority of us are consumed with worry virtually everyday. This worry may not always be in the forefront of your thoughts, but it is there nonetheless, silently tugging away at your peace of mind, demanding attention. In fact, most of the time when we say I'm thinking about it, we are really saying I'm worrying about it.
In her talk, Isabelle included some thought-provoking statistics that I'll share with you all, pertaining to what it is, on average, we worry about:
40% of what we worry about will never happen. Whether it's unrealistic or implausible, it's simply not worth worrying about.
30% of what we worry about has already happened. It's over; you can't change it now. Figure out the best way to move forward and head that direction.
12% of what we worry about are needless worries about our health. This is for those of you who resort to wedMD after a sore back or a two hour headache. Your body is designed to heal itself, provided you fuel it responsibly.
10% of what we worry about are petty, miscellaneous worries. Things like where to eat, what to wear, or how to impress. Although, this sometimes feels like a bigger chunk of our worries, right?
8% of what we worry about are real, legitimate worries. EIGHT PERCENT?! Imagine what we could accomplish if we took alllll the energy from 92% of our worries and used it elsewhere! This might be a wake up call to a lot of us.
Our goal is to recognize what falls into this 8% category of legitimate worries, and start to discard what is not. We do this by narrowing down the destructive things in life that we tolerate, because what you tolerate, you worry about. Once you've done this, you're able to better use that energy spent worrying, and as Isabelle says, "repurpose" it to a positive end.
Take inventory of the things you are tolerating in your life, and determine what it is you need to change. If you can't say no to what you don't want, you will never have the energy to say yes to what you do want.
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