You know that feeling like if one more thing goes wrong, that it would be all you can take? That one thing in life that you say to the universe, "take anything from me BUT this, I just absolutely could not go on after losing this." It could be anything....the human who you thought was your one great love, losing your dad before he gets to walk you down the aisle, the understanding comfort of your mother, innocence, the thing you find identity in, life stripping away your closest companion too soon, devastation from a natural disaster or a traumatic injury.
I used to always look at humans who had endured tragedies in awe. Like how and why do they even keep on going as if life is normal? As if their whole entire world didn't end on the day they lost what was most important to them.
But then you lose it... and you go on... and you understand.
When I first heard Lana Del Rey's Ride monologue I was about fifteen and hadn't even begun to processes the few losses I had experienced up to that point in life, but still was mesmerized by her words as she spoke; "I didn't really mind, because I knew that it takes getting everything you ever wanted and then losing it to know what true freedom is." Since then I have gotten everything I thought I wanted, and subsequently lost it all too. There has been more than one time in my life I have lost things I told myself I could not go on from and woken up to face days I did not wish to endure. I am in awe of a few dear friends, some of whom have endured losses I couldn't even begin to fathom and continue to live with grace. It is for this that I am continually amazed by of the resiliency of the human spirit.
I am reminded daily by a semicolon on my wrist that, like our lives, this is the place in a sentence where things could've ended but continued on. For those of you who have not yet endured a great tragedy in life, this is likely not something you will understand, but I urge you to let it shape your perspective. When you lose something so utterly significant to you, it creates an appreciation for the cold and hard truth that everything here on earth is fleeting.
Some of the most sincere advice I have ever received is not to sweat the small stuff...and it's all small stuff. In a winter of my life I was challenged by a friend to write down five things I'm thankful for and three things that amazed me each day, try it and watch as you begin to shape a beautiful perspective of the world around you. All too often we give so much weight and priority to insignificant, trivial matters as we get lost in the hamster wheel of life....but open your eyes, because there is so much more to being alive than merely checking off the boxes on your to do list. As the anniversary of September 11, 2001, recently passed, I came across a statement from Sandra Dahl, the wife of Flight 93 pilot, Captain Jason Dahl. She declares, "If we learn nothing else from this tragedy, we learn that life is short and there is no time for hate."
Life is short: let it be made up of joy, kindness to others and sheer freedom. Say yes to more of what makes you feel alive and no to the things which do not matter. Do nothing out of obligation, but everything from a place of passion. Feel deeply, laugh truly and quit giving a second thought to what others think.....it isn't their life to live.
The universe has so much more to offer us than we could ever plan or imagine for ourselves. Enduring loss or being sensitive to the tragedies of others creates a perspective in which we are able to live boundlessly, as we realize we have nothing left to lose. I leave you with the beautiful words of Gemma Troy, "Whatever makes you feel the sun from the inside out, chase that."
