Welcome to Wilson freshmen. It's a fun and exciting part of your life. You're meeting new friends, signing up for different clubs, and starting a whole new chapter. Most colleges like to give you a helping hand by inviting you to come a few days early for Orientation. You learn about the campus, participate in awkward name games, and find a few fast friends to sit with in the dining hall. Wilson is no different, the staff have worked together to give you freshmen a great start to your first year at college.
But you will have to attend one sobering event, it's the one where they sit you down and talk about alcohol, drugs, and sexual assault and how to handle situations on campus. Now, they'll try to make it funny or entertaining or engaging where they can really get the message across but it doesn't always.
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I sat in that same room too when I was a freshmen. I listened to the professor talk about safe sex and to always walk in groups and how to not be sexually assaulted. I was bored as all hell and tuned her out. I just rolled my eyes thinking that "I already know this stuff and it's not gonna happen to me". I walked out of there and forgot the entire lecture. It didn't matter, Wilson was so small nothing could happen to me here.
1 Month later I was proven wrong...
No I wasn't jumped in an alleyway, I didn't get drunk at a bar, and I wasn't wearing anything "revealing". I was just dating a guy on campus.
I didn't know it until a year later that what that guy had done was considered assault. I didn't know that when I felt greasy and disgusting and repulsed anytime I was with him it was a sign that things were wrong. I didn't know that when I said no and he pressured me anyway that it was considered assault. I didn't know that obsessive habits I developed after that relationship were typical responses to assault.
I was 18 and we were dating and I was a "nice girl" and things like that don't happen to nice girls, but they do.
If I could go back, maybe I would have listened to that professor about the signs of relationship abuse or what to do. Maybe I would have spoken up a lot sooner, and maybe I wouldn't feel so scarred now.
To the freshmen,
Listen to the Wilson staff when they talk about rape and abuse. Report it when it happens and know that you can say no. No is the final word and the moment your partner goes past it, they've crossed the line. No is always allowed, whether or not they bought you drinks or dinner, whether or not you're dating, and whether or not they feel like you owe them. You can say no.
I don't care if you're a man or a woman, both genders can say no. A man does NOT always "feel like it". He always has the right to say no. A woman does NOT ask for it by wearing a dress. It's your body and your decision, no one else's.
And if you never said no, but at the end you walk away feeling slimy and gross and disgusted for some reason, something was wrong. Talk to your partner and let them know something went wrong and you were not comfortable.
I wish I had these words of advice when I was in your shoes, but most of all I wish you never need them.
Sincerely,
A Senior
