Have you ever wondered what it would be like if 2016 was a person you could text? Check out below a series of text messages sent from somebody to the cursed year.
This is not an exhausted list of the events in 2016 but a selection of a few subjectively notable events!
**Please note, some graphic & possibly disturbing imagery is used, view with caution!**
January 1, 2016
Subject Line: New Year, New Me!
“Hey 2016, it’s me! I just wanted to say that I can’t wait to spend time with you. I’ve been looking forward to this relationship for many months; we have so many things to do and I’m so excited. We’ve got the summer Olympics in Rio, the Presidential Election, and so much more! Can’t wait to see how it all plays out, see ya! :-)”
January 11, 2016
Subject Line: David Bowie Death
“RIP David Bowie :-( did you really have to take him?”
January 23, 2016
Subject Line: North Korea H-Bomb, El Chapo, snow...?
“Hi 2016, I’m having a pretty good time so far together, and I hope you also enjoy my presence as well. But… I’m just a little curious about that whole ‘North Korea tests H-bomb’ thing that happened a couple of weeks ago. No pressure or anything, I’m just a little curious about it. BTW, can you believe El Chapo was recaptured?? I can’t believe he was able to escape in the first place!! Anyways, nice talking, hope to hear from ya soon! PS- Also can you explain what’s up with all of this snow in New York? Lmao”
February 1, 2016
Subject Line: Zika Outbreak
“Seriously???? Zika??? The World Health Organization has declared an outbreak of this virus! Yeah I know we experienced something similar to this with Ebola like this already but that doesn’t make this situation any better… 2016, you better get your act together. We literally just finished one month together. Don’t ruin it."
February 11, 2016
Subject Line: Scientific Discovery!
“GUESS WHAT WE JUST FOUND!!! GRAVITATIONAL WAVES FROM BLACK HOLES HAVE BEEN DETECTED, WOOT WOOT!”
March 20, 2016
Subject Line: Obama visits Cuba
“I knew that you were cool. Like the whole thing with Obama in Cuba making history is EPIC. I really appreciate how you’re all about coming together and not pulling us apart. Awesome job man. I look forward to other groundbreaking events with you <3”
March 23, 2016
Subject Line: Bathroom Bill NC
“lol...am I being punked right now?"
March 23, 2016
Subject Line: Ankara, Dubai Airline, Brussels
“WHAT THE HELL 2016??? This past month has been absolutely sickening, 2016. Explain to me the Ankara car bombing killing at least 32, the crash of the Dubai airliner killing 61 passengers, and then the attack in Brussels killing more than 30...This is seriously messed up and getting out of hand.”
April 16, 2016
Subject Line: Panama Papers
“Bruh, those Panama Papers tho…. Talk about a scandal. I know to you it might just seem like a little info breach, but it’s huge. It’s 11.5 million Leaked documents that contain detailed financial and attorney-client information for thousands of offshore entities. I mean, yeah, offshore business entities are totally legal, but some businesses use them to do illegal things like tax evasion, fraud, and evading international sanctions… crazy… #savageaf”
April 21, 2016
Subject Line: Prince
“NOT PRINCE :’( May he rest in peace. Now leave me alone so I can drown myself in #purplerain”
May 3, 2016
Subject Line: Mass Evacuation in Fort McMurray from Canada Fire
“Yooooo 2016… .seriously calm down. Are you seeing that fire in Western Canada? It’s doing a lot of sever damage. It’s forcing a mass evacuation in Fort McMurray. Thousands and thousands of families are losing their homes and are in danger. This isn’t good. Send help”
May 3, 2016
Subject Line: Cruz drops out of presidential election
“2016, the outcome of this is either gonna be really good or really bad. I have a feeling it’s gonna end up being okay. I mean, you’re crazy, but not like crazy-crazy… right?”
May 29, 2016
Subject Line: Disappearance of EgyptAir
“Whoa, uh so how does a plane just disappear? It was fine and then all of a sudden it just loses contact with the radar? Something doesn’t seem right. You really need to help us out here, there are at least 62 passengers and crew aboard that plane."
June 4, 2016
Subject Line: Muhammad Ali
“RIP Muhammad Ali, may you always #floatlikeabutterflyandstinglikeabee.”
June 6, 2016
Subject Line: Madam president? Hillary secures Democratic Nomination
“I guess it was kind of obvious this was going to happen from looking at the past few months… No matter how hard I rallied for homeboy Bernie...ugh…. However, the battle is far from being over, because CHANGE happens when we are TOGETHER!”
June 13, 2016
Subject Line: Pulse Night Club Shooting
“This is a tragedy. I have never been so horrified, 2016. Did you know this shooting is the deadliest mass shooting by a single gunman in US history? Did you also know that this shooting is the deadliest terrorist attack on US soil since the events of 9/11???? What is going on 2016….”
June 23, 2016
Subject Line: BREXIT
“Oh snap!? The UK votes to leave the EU after 43 years. This is definitely historic, one can only wait to see how this plays out… I mean, as of right now the pound has fallen to it’s lowest level against the US dollar since 1985, and if that’s any indication of the direction in which we’re headed… yikes.”
June 28, 2016
Subject Line: Istanbul Attack
“At least 36 more people are dead from this attack. I don’t know what you’re thinking, 2016, but you’ve crossed the line months ago. You’ve done nothing but spread fear and caused bloodshed.”
July 3, 2016
Subject Line: Baghdad Bombing kills 250
“…”
July 10, 2016
Subject Line: Euro 2016 taken by Portugal
“What a game! Exciting stuff man, unless you’re like me and put money on France :/”
July 14, 2016
Subject Line: Truck hits crowd in Nice, France killing 85
“No words…”
July 22, 2016
Subject Line: Last VHS player is manufactured in Japan
“Wow, this makes me feel old. 2016, you’re really moving fast, huh. The last device was made by Japanese tech company Funai"
August 21, 2016 Subject Line: End of Olympics
“Hey! Did you watch the games? They were pretty good in my opinion. It was great to see Phelps dominate in the pool alongside Katie Lydecky. Also, awesome watching Usain Bolt win his 9th Olympic gold medal in the 4x100m relay. Tons of records were set… and like always, there seems to be controversy. You know what I’m talking about right? Like the whole Russian issue with performance drugs, safety issues of the location itself, and the looming fear of an ongoing outbreak of Zika… the usual.”
August 18, 2016
Subject Line: Aleppo *graphic/emotionally disturbing*
“You’ve convinced me that this you’re going to end the world as events get bloodier and bloodier. You’ve probably seen this, but I just wanted to show you what you’re doing. This is Omran. He is 5 years old and was pulled from the rubble of his apartment complex with his family after an airstrike.
August 31, 2016
Subject Line: Brazil President Impeached
“I think we all saw this coming? With mass levels of corruption in their government and civilian uproar against her presidency it was bound to happen. Hey 2016, is this a sign of the world looking for political stability? *cough* US elections *cough* *nudge nudge*”
September 3, 2016
Subject: Refugee Crisis *graphic/emotionally disturbing*
“Yo 2016, wake up. I know you're already aware of the European Refugee Crisis, but seriously look at this picture. This is a boy named Aylan Kurdi. He and his family were trying to flee to Canada but their boat capsized leaving their father the only survivor. Aylan's lifeless body was found on a Turkish beach. I get it, you're busy, but please just see the tragedy and have sympathy..."
September 21, 2016
Subject Line: Charlotte in state of Emergency as Protests over Police Shootings continue
“Hey 2016, I don’t know what you’re on, but for the record: Black lives matter. Did I say that blacks are superior to all other races/peoples? Nope. And don’t try to do that thing where you throw the phrase that All Lives Matter at me, because in silencing the protests you’re silencing the fact that American culture is riddled with institutional racism and to this day suffers discrimination and inequality. If All Lives Matter, how is it wrong to say that Black Lives Matter?
November 8, 2016
Subject Line: Trump wins Presidency
“BRUH ARE YOU KIDDING ME???”
November 25, 2016
Subject Line: Castro Dies at 90
“It’s not like he was a beloved celebrity like Prince, but wow, historical."
November 28, 2018
Subject Line: Plane of Brazilian Soccer team crashes in Colombia
“Enough with the tragedies!"
December 19, 2016 Subject line: Andrei Karlov, Russian ambassador to Turkey is assassinated
"DUDE"
December 22, 2016
Subject Line: VSV-EBOV vaccine is found to be 70%-100% effective against Ebola, making it the first proven vaccine against the disease
"You're a piece of crap, 2016, but I will say this is a great achievement. Let's finish out the year on a good note, okay??"
December 25, 2016
Subject Line: a Tupolev Tu-154 crashes new Sochi, Russia killing everyone on board, including 64 members of Alexandrov Ensemble
"... This is a tragedy, and I hate you and I can't wait to be done with you"
And while we can finally say, "we made it!" it's also important to realize that lots of what happened in 2016 has paved the way for the many years to come, and that even though it's a thing of the past, there are things we should never forget.
Best wishes for a better year!
If you could text 2016, what would you say?
Curious to where this information came from? Check out these timelines used for reference:
sunrise
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bonfire friends
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sadness
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purple skies
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true love
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My Cheerleader
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womans transformation to happiness and love
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future life together of adventures
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