Donald Trump: you either love him or you hate him. However, I think we all can agree that he is probably more suited to be president than us college students are, even though we think we know everything. While he’s said/done some questionable things that not everyone approves of during his first couple months in office, most of us do some equally questionable stuff on the daily. So, while some of us may think we’re better qualified to be president than he is as college students, here’s what I imagine would really happen if one of us became president:
1. Thirsty Thursday would become a sacred day where classes were illegal and cover at your favorite bar was totally nonexistent
Everyone could use that extra day to pregame for the weekend!
2. The secret service at the door of your frat party would take the “who do you know here” questioning of partygoers to a whole new level
Everybody would get a pat down... gotta keep the prez safe, you know?
3. United States Olympic Beer Pong team would somehow become a thing
The only qualification needed to join would be to consistently hit redemption shots (but you should be a pro and shouldn’t need redemption in the first place).
4. “I’m the President” would totally be a legit excuse to not show up to class when you just couldn’t handle it that day
Even the president needs a day off sometimes.
5. Drinking age would get bumped down to 18 so all those seniors getting ready to come to college will be able to keep up with the pros during Welcome Week parties
You gotta come prepared to party or you might as well stay home.
6. Free laundry services. Score!
Who carries around quarters these days anyway?!
7. Free morning breakfast on Sundays after long nights of partying. Double score!
CARBS... WE NEED CARBS!!!!
8. Every school would be legally obligated to provide free puppy cuddling sessions during the ever-stressful finals week
Because nothing is more stress relieving than cuddling with a giant ball of fur.
9. Every state would have legalized marijuana
This would probably be the first thing on the college prez's to-do list, honestly. MARY JANE FOR EVERYONE!
10. Massive budget cuts to everything that actually is important to support the average Uber driver’s salary so you don't have to
Because we're all too broke to pay for these expensive Ubers home from the bars, man.
11. The Department of Social Media Intelligence would also become a thing and it would be made solely to teach everyone how to maximize their posting potential
Because why not?
12. It would be illegal to have Monday exams and professors would be thrown in jail for giving them
Cumulative finals, mandatory attendance, and non-curved exams would all be equally as punishable offenses.
