Paris is arguably the most beautiful city in the world, and anyone who says otherwise has probably never seen it. Each and every building is planned and crafted, not just plopped on some corner block. There are faces, pictures, and statues perched on every rooftop and balcony. It puts tourists and locals alike in a trance as they fixate on the amazing architecture of the place. The food is to die for. The bread is so crisp and fresh, and macaroons are out of this world. As beautiful as the city is, lately it has lost some of its luster.

A few weeks ago I spent the weekend exploring this incredible city, and it lived up to every expectation I had, both good and bad. My hometown is right outside of Washington D.C, the capital of the United States and what some view as a major target for terrorism. Growing up in the post 9/11 era, I always acknowledged this reality, but never gave it much thought. It was a threat, sure, but not one that would make me anxious or prevent me from going into the city. So, when I hopped on my plane to Paris, I expected it to be just like home. Sure, it was a target, but once I was there I would forget all about it and just enjoy my time. Upon my arrival, it became instantly clear that this was nothing like my city back home.

Armed guards with huge machine guns and bulletproof vests surveillance the area of every beautiful attraction we see. From the Arc de Triomphe, to the Eiffel Tour, to the Notre Dame Cathedral, armed guards surround every one of them. Walking down the Seine River with delicious ice cream in hand, I try to enjoy the beauty of the city, but my mind always drew to the police sirens and boats of more armed guards speeding down the river.

One night we stayed out later to watch the Eiffel Tour light up. We sat for hours drinking wine and watching the city around us transform into a city of lights. Walking back across the bridge, trying to head home, we see two of those armed guards investigating two black bags with extreme caution. One guard was holding one bag with the end of his gun, slowly investigating its insides. My heart stopped, I pushed and shoved through the crowd to flee the scene as fast as I could. When I arrived back to my hostel, I couldn’t get that image of the guards out of my brain. Don’t get me wrong, I loved every second I was in Paris, but there was no bigger relief than safely landing back in Dublin. That was not the last time I would visit Paris, but I do hope it was the last time I have to see the city in the state it was in.

What a world we live in now a days. When did they put guards with machine guns at tourist attractions? When did we become afraid to explore the most beautiful cities in the world? When did this fear and caution become the new normal? I have lived in the post 9/11 era for most of my life, and it wasn’t until those moments three weeks ago that I realized how sad it is to live in a world like this.

This trip was more of a life reflection than a vacation. I realized that I couldn’t remember the last time I watched the news, and didn’t hear about a new bombing, a new explosion, a new terrorist threat, or a new tragedy in some part of the world. It makes you wonder, is this how it has always been? Did our parents and grandparents experience walking through Paris, Prague, London, L.A., Washington D.C, and all these cities with guns at every street corner? Will our children experience the same world that we live in right now?

Events like this can’t help but make you question, when did this become normal? At first when I realized this, I was saddened that this is what the world has come to; that fear and threats are at the forefront of every major event in today’s news. But it also lit a fire. It renewed a hope in me that someday there is peace. It renewed a hope that 30 years from now my kids won’t see the same world that I saw when I traveled. I hope they see a world of peace, and security. I hope they see a better world with less violence and threats, and I hope they never have to be scared to travel to some of the same places I fell in love with. Sure, hope alone isn’t a solution, but it doesn’t hurt to dream.

Even with the things I experienced, Paris is still nothing but pure beauty. I just hope one day, it can return to the way it used to be.