While every woman has her own preferences for her sex life, there are some desires that most of us can agree are pretty universal for everyone. And once you figure out what they are, you'll find they are almost too easy to satisfy. So get reading, ladies and gentlemen—you might even want to take notes—here are 16 things every woman deserves in her sex life:
1. Reciprocated oral sex
Really guys, you surely can't be expecting her to put out if you're not willing to do the same. Females are often expected in hookup scenarios to give their guys blow jobs as a prelude to intercourse… but why aren't guys expected to reciprocate? Honestly, if performing oral sex is too much of a chore for you, then she shouldn't be obligated to give it to you in the first place.
2. Foreplay, foreplay, FOREPLAY
Foreplay is the foundation upon which mind-blowing sex can be guaranteed. And just a few minutes of kissing won't cut it. Your woman wants her entire body to be engaged in the act, so step up your game and appreciate every last inch of her. Use your hands and your lips and even your breath to tease and tantalize her—the sex that follows will be very much worth the effort.
3. Make out sessions that aren't just preludes to sex
It's more than okay for kissing to just be kissing. When we want to make out and leave it at that, it's because we aren't in the mood to have sex, but still want to partake in some kind of physical affection. No sexual act can truly compare to the innocent intimacy of a breathtaking kiss. So believe me when I say that not every passionate kiss implies that we want to drop our panties for you.
4. Reassurance about how she looks
As women, we are pressured by society to give the illusion that we are flawless. Our appearances must be on-point at all times regardless of how we feel on the inside. And in the event that we find ourselves about to have sex, we might not be 100% prepared. Sometimes we forget or simply don't want to put on makeup, and it's all too easy to miss a spot when we're shaving in a hurry. Either way, we want our partners (casual or otherwise) to relieve us of our anxieties and tell us that we look beautiful even with these imperfections. In terms of boosting our confidence in bed, just a little bit of reassurance goes a long way.
5. Communication
Even if you've established the terms and conditions of your relationship, that doesn't excuse you from constantly communicating with your partner. We deserve to know that our needs as well as our wants, physical or otherwise, are being accommodated. That not only includes consistent confirmation of consent during sex, but it also relates to what is and what isn't working in bed in terms of pleasure. Women and men alike will agree that communication is pivotal to ensuring that the relationship is enjoyable and healthy for both participants.
6. A little variety
If we're going to be seeing each other, then it's expected that you won't try to pull the same moves on us and still guarantee our satisfaction. Sex shouldn't be treated as a routine that has us both praying for its fast ending. It's more than okay to suggest spicing it up with different positions, a different location, or even with different kinds of condoms or lubricants. We ladies will most likely be very open to the opportunity for some sensual exploration—all you've got to do is ask.
7. The ability to be honest about what isn't working
Plain and simple: if one of your alleged "signature moves" isn't quite doing it for us, we should feel comfortable enough with you to express that as soon as it's an issue. We can be a bit more lenient in one-time encounters, but if we are planning on seeing each other in the future, we want to know that we can confess early on that your technique could be improved. Sexual preferences vary from person to person, so it's important that we can work with you to tailor your actions to bring us the most pleasure possible. And you can trust us when we say we'll do the exact same for you.
8. An orgasm (especially if you've already had one)
I mean…is it really too much to ask? If we bring you to climax, it's at the very least polite to reciprocate and allow us to achieve orgasm, too. You might claim you're too tired after your own orgasm to focus on our satisfaction, but how would you like it if we did the same? Yeah…thought so.
9. Post-sex snacking and cuddles
If we're consistently seeing each other for sex, why can't we make each other's stays a little more comfortable? Ideally, we value each other's company enough to show even just a minimal amount of affection while we're tangled up in the sheets. And ordering a quick bite to eat after doing the deed doesn't have to mean we're dating. So let's snuggle with some Netflix and some pizza to replenish our strength after such a successful night in.
10. Switching dominant and submissive roles
A man who isn't afraid to relinquish his dominance to his partner is exactly the kind of man we want to be with. There is absolutely no shame in letting yourself lie back and enjoy every once in a while, so if we want to take the reins this time around, you should definitely let us. We've already committed ourselves to bringing you pleasure, so why not make the most of our shared experience and switch up the roles a bit? It goes back to having a little variety in our sex lives—all it will do is make the sex even more impactful and memorable.
11. Passion
You don't have to be our soulmate to sweep us off our feet and give us a kiss that leaves us breathless. Don't be afraid to be more enthusiastic in the bedroom—we'll bet we're just as eager as you are. Catch us off-guard when we walk into the room and press us up against the wall and kiss us like you mean it. Whisk us into your arms and carry us bridal-style to the bedroom—hell, even light a few candles just because you can. Passion is critical, after all, to creating the prime orgasmic conditions.
12. Lots of laughter
We're only human and, contrary to popular belief, women are (unfortunately) not unaffected by potentially embarrassing bodily functions. That being said, you can't be the kind of person to completely lose your arousal over one slip-up; you've got to be willing to laugh along with us and move past it. Sex is allowed to be funny—quit acting like you're at a funeral and live in the moment with us. And plus, there is little else quite as intimate as sharing a laugh during sex.
13. Comfortable silence
It's okay to let silence do the talking sometimes. Don't try so hard to push pillow talk that clearly isn't doing anything but making us both feel awkward. If we aren't already reacting to the dirty words being whispered in our ears, then chances are we won't be affected by it at all. Know when some quiet time in the bedroom is appropriate and cherish it with us.
14. Peace at mind about protection
No woman will fully enjoy herself during sex if she's preoccupied with concerns about getting an STD or getting pregnant. Let us know that you're clean or are currently undergoing treatment for any sexually-transmitted diseases you have (and better not be contagious with). Don't pressure us to let you ditch the condom "just this once" we're the ones, after all, that may have to bear the result of your irresponsibility. If you want us to dedicate ourselves to sex, you better ensure that you have done all in your power to protect us from illness or unwanted pregnancy.
15. A defined relationship with both parties' intentions made clear
Women want clarity about the terms of their sexual relationships. We want to know point-blank whether or not our one-night stands are strictly that or have the potential to blossom into something more intimate. We want you to be honest with us when you confirm or reject the concept that we are on the way to becoming lovers. And please do so as soon as you can, because if there are feelings involved, they will hurt much less if they are addressed early on.
16. Respect for her body and her boundaries
Consent must be maintained throughout the entire encounter, and that can only happen if you are open about expressing yourself and your intentions. We want to feel safe and cared for at all times during sex. Even the roughest, dirtiest sex needs to be supported by our assurance that we are always enjoying what is happening. If we seem a little bit off at any point, please stop what you're doing and respect our right to back out whenever without any explanation needed.
Overall, your lady just wants to know that you're dedicated to her safety, her pleasure, and her happiness while you're together. It doesn't matter if you met each other at the bar or on Tinder or have been dating for a while—these are desires that should never be neglected in a healthy sexual relationship.
