As many of you know, I created an anonymous, open-ended survey via Survey Monkey to find out what women think during sex vs what men think during sex. I got 62 responses from women (from ages 18 to 34) and 55 responses from men (from ages 18 to 54) so keep in mind that this sample isn't necessarily indicative of what every male or female in the world thinks, but rather a predictor. Also, only a small amount of people within both groups identified as bisexual, homosexual, or other so that's another factor to keep in mind when reading this.
Let's start with the top responses for women:
Paranoia over their bodies:
Almost every single woman stated that during sex they wondered how their bodies or faces looked at that moment. This ranged from women wondering if the guy was staring at the way their boobs bounce while being on top. Some were worried about whether or not their partner would pay attention to their stomach rolls, stretch marks, or cellulite. Others were extremely self conscious about whether or not a guy was looking at their butt hole in the doggy position. No matter which factor came into play, it was evident that a lot of women were concerned how their bodies would affect the sex.
How they feel about their partner:
"I like it when the sex feels passionate and emotional. Casual sex is fun, but sex with someone you feel an emotional connection with feels better because it doesn't just feel like you're having sex. It feels like you're making love."
"I think about how I feel my soul leaving my body during sex."
"I usually think about how much I'm enjoying the experience with my boyfriend, how much I love him, etc. We're so close, so we don't mind communicating about what we want during sex. I also think about what else I could do to please him."
"Most of the time I'm thinking of my husband. Not to sound cliche, but I think about whatever he's doing to me in that moment and how hot he is."
These are four of numerous responses that explain how sex is more pleasing to a lot of women when there is some kind of strong bond or connection with their partner. A lot of us value consistency, and feel like sex gets better and better with time. Also, people may think that stealing someone's soul is only a myth or some funny phrase you see on Twitter, but I'm here to tell you that if you feel like you're floating and see bright yellow stars circling around the ceiling then there's a good chance your soul is being snatched forreal.
"Hurry up and cum":
"If I'm not into it, it's usually just like ugh okay I'm glad you like it, but can you hurry up now?"
"If it's not that good then I'm thinking about how I can kindly get him to switch positions to get him to cum faster or just tell him to stop."
"If it lasts too long then I'm only going to think about when he'll go ahead and finish."
These responses along with many others did not surprise me. Though, I will note that with any kind of response similar to these, the woman did state that she only thought about that during sex if it wasn't that good, if they weren't really into the guy, or if it lasted way too long.
Food:
A lot of responses either discussed how hungry they were during sex or how they thought about what they'll eat afterwards. I'm not sure how surprised I was to find so many responses about food, but it does make sense considering that sex can be quite the workout. I always joke around about having a designated post-sex food spot because I couldn't help but notice that one of my ex boyfriends and I went to sonic quite often after having sex, especially if it was at night. It's not even like we sat down one day and said "Hey, sonic is going to be our post-sex food", but it just so happened that we would end up getting a milkshakes and fries afterward on multiple occasions. Maybe the fact that sonic is only less than a 5 minute drive away from my apartment could also be a factor.
Honorable mentions:
1.) "Why is he making that face?" A few responses did mention how hilarious a guy's face looks right before they're about to cum.
2.) "Depending on the guy, I think about other guys" Usually the "other guys" that some girls thought about were either their ex or a celebrity crush.
3.) "Stop making that stupid face. It's a turn off." Welp. Again with the facial expressions.
4.) "I wish he would moan more instead of grunt all the time." Guys, take notes. A lot of women will tell you how sexy it is when a guy moans.
5.) "How you gonna talk about all the things you plan on doing to me to make me cum, but can't even find my clit...?" Yikes.
Now for the top responses for men:
Their overall performance
"During sex, my main goal is to get a girl to orgasm and cum at least twice before I do. When I eat her out I focus on her breath and body movements to make sure I'm getting all the right places as well as massaging. The whole point is to make her happy and satisfied."
"I'd say that I'm dominant and aggressive so I love seeing a girl get off and be pleased orally or get off before me. Typically thoughts running through my mind are what my next move will be. I think about what she's reacted best to."
"I'm constantly looking for signs that my partner is pleased. I'm anxious almost the whole entire time, thinking about whether or not my partner is enjoying the experience."
Almost if not all of the men added that during their thought process, they were mostly focused on their overall performance. A lot of them simply wanted to please their partner in any way they could. The reason why, however, is hard to determine. Some men were thinking about the way they could please their partner because it somehow provided a subconscious or mental confidence boost in a way. Others were had these types of thoughts because they were genuinely curious or unsure how they were doing.
Trying not to finish too fast:
"When I'm inside of her it's easier to think about nothing to make sure I don't cum yet."
"Shiddd, I hope I don't come right now."
"I need to pace myself to make sure it lasts long enough."
These answers as well as many others made it obvious that the fear of climaxing too fast is a general concern. Luckily there are ways around this such as switching positions, thinking of something that's the opposite of sexy, alternating between fast and slow, or taking a deep breath right before ejaculation to slow it down.
How good their partner looks:
A very recurring trend for the guys was their admiration of how good the person they're having sex with looks. More specifically, a lot of them recalled how much they love watching a girl's ass jiggle while they're hitting it from behind. A few have even stated how much they enjoy eye contact during sex so they can be fully aware of their partner's facial expressions.
Fear of getting the woman pregnant:
"I hope she doesn't get pregnant. I've dated her for over a year and a half, and we've never used a condom."
"If she keeps riding me like this then there's no way in hell I'm pulling out."
"Fuck it. I guess one baby won't hurt...nah, snap out of it. Child support is too expensive."
There were many other replies similar to these which ended up making the fear of becoming a father a popular trend among the men. Not that it was specified much in the different responses, but I can only assume (and fellas, correct me if I'm wrong) that the thought wouldn't come across a guy's mind as much if he's actually using condoms. After all, the pull out method takes a lot of self control, and self awareness to bodily responses so that there's no room for error.
Honorable mentions:
1.) "I wonder if Wendys still has the 4 for 4. Oh shit, did I remember to turn off the oven? I wonder what channel the game is on?" Well, at least it's nice to know guys are thinking about food almost as much as girls are.
2.) "A void of nothingness." This is understandable because sometimes you can be so caught up in the moment that you aren't actually thinking about anything at all.
3.) "Depending on the woman I'm thinking about if she's a great or terrible decorator." Y'all are something else...that's all I got to say about this.
4.) "I really drove all the way over here for this...?" Yikes
5.) "Damn, I need a few more inches." Double yikes.
