Going off to college is pretty hard. Maybe not for everyone, but there's always going to be some bit of change. A new school, new friends, new teachers, a new room, maybe even a new state. And for about eight months, that's your new life. And at some point, you become very comfortable with that new life. You enjoy taking walks on campus with your boyfriend and you like meeting your friend at the library to study. You've become accustomed to the town and maybe even the accents there. You miss your family and parents and friends, but you also love where you are. Or at least that's how I was.

When I went to college I became a lot more independent. I went to a school where I knew two people out of 26,000. My roommate was a stranger and I was in basically a whole new world. I was scared and along with all that change came a change in me. I became very aware of how serious my schooling was. I learned that it's hard making new friends especially when you're not in a sorority–that was my own decision not to rush, props to those that do. But at school, I loved being independent. I loved going to my dorm to study and watch Netflix. I loved not being asked who I was texting or where I was going or who I was hanging out with by my mom (which honestly I didn't hang out with a lot of people). When I went to college I realized I liked having a close-knit group of friends and after my boyfriend and I met, I knew I preferred more time with him than anyone at school. Again, I didn't have hardly any friends.

So yes; I grew attached to my room and my dorm and my campus and my few friends and my boyfriend and the town and the food and the generosity of those in the South. I grew attached to being at college more than I was attached to my home town of 19 years. And I wasn't prepared for that.

The first day I came home from school I think I cried for hours, and probably days on after that. After eight months of being in the same place and learning to love it and call it home instead of where I grew up, it was hard coming back "home". At least for me, and I wasn't prepared for that. I read countless articles on how alone people felt when they first got to school, but I never read anything about how hard it was for people to transition coming back home.

My first month home I debated moving out to live somewhere else. I was very depressed and didn't find interest in seeing many friends anymore like I was the summer before. I felt very different from who I was when I used to live in my hometown.

I'm not trying to scare anyone away from going to college, but I don't want you to be blindsided either.

Change is hard for me. Really, really, incredibly hard. I got highlights in my hair and after a week I wanted my natural color back. How's that for hating change? That being said I should've known that coming home from college would be a lot harder than I was expecting.

I could no longer eat Slim Chickens three nights a week. I didn't get to snuggle in my lofted twin bed with a million comforters in my 68 degrees room the way I liked. I didn't get to see my boyfriend every day who now lives seven hours away. I now sleep alone rather than having my roommate with me–which I oddly miss. I miss the dance parties and tv shows and late night pizza orders; those were the best. I feel like a potato all day long because I'm not in school learning and I stay at home almost all the time now.

My summer has basically felt like a waste. I go to work and come home and watch Grey's Anatomy. But mid-summer I decided that next year I would permanently live in my college town. I officially quit my job in my hometown since I would never be coming back. I decided I would take summer classes in college to help free up my time during the school year. I've planned it all and I could not be more excited.

I've felt guilty for leaving my family and some of my friends back home–the few, the proud–but this is what I need to be happy, and I don't think it's fair of me to feel guilty for that; for doing what I feel is best for me.

Sometimes change is good, and sometimes it's bad. Going to college was a good change for me, and coming home was rough. Either way, I think you should do what makes you happiest in life and don't be afraid of that.