What I Wish I Could Say To My Rapist | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Entertainment

What I Wish I Could Say To My Rapist

Some honest questions for the person who denies everything.

386
What I Wish I Could Say To My Rapist
Pexels

It’s been years now, but do you think of that evening as often as I do? Do you remember me insistently repeating that I did not want to do anything with you? Do you recall pinning me against a wall, the sound of my sobbing in the kitchen when we returned home?

Well, I do.

Despite the fact that I had drank so much I could barely see straight, I remember that moment with crystal clarity. I can still feel the word “no” on my tongue, it crossed my lips countless times that evening but you ignored it. There’s nothing that’s bothered me quite as much as being ignored. I remember being infuriated as a child when others would pretend that they couldn’t hear me when I was standing right next to them- “Did you hear something? Maybe it was just the wind.” But this, this was certainly the one that out did all the other moments I’ve been ignored in my short life. Do you even view me as a person who feels? I can’t imagine you do, otherwise how would you be able to blatantly ignore my wishes repeatedly. For some reason though, I hope that I made an impression on you — stood out against the multitudes of faces, that I have not just blurred into your memory, that you feel some kind of remorse that keeps you awake at night. Or am I just another speck on the map of the countless others you’ve taken advantage of?

You must’ve known, long before I recovered my dignity enough to report what happened, that you had done something wrong. I avoided you like the plague. I never went to the other parties you invited me to. I couldn’t even wear that shirt again. It wasn’t until I found out that you had done this to others that I knew I had to speak up — I would not let anyone else fall victim to your lies.

Is this really how you believe seduction is supposed to work? Last I checked, if someone wants to have sex with you, you don’t have to feed them five drinks and then corner them in order to get them to do it. Although 91 percent of perpetrators of sexual assault report never having been assaulted themselves according to one study (Scully, 1990), one of your defenses was that you had been assaulted before. This astounds me — you know how it feels to be taken advantage of but you did it to multiple people anyways.

You’ve left me scarred in ways that I may never be able to overcome, given me psychological wounds that impact me daily. You’ve caused me to walk in fear every day that it could happen again. You drove me to drugs and alcohol; I’ve talked with countless therapists. You’ve taught me to trust no one. You were my friend, and you betrayed me. I don’t wish ill fates upon you, but I hope you know what you’ve done.

If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault or rape, you can call the national sexual assault telephone hotline 800.656.HOPE (4673) or +1 202.501.4444 internationally. They will connect you with a local representative who can provide you with support and resources.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
girl holding phone
NYCPRGIRLS

Now that it seems “talking” is the new way to date, and will stay that way until another idiotic term is used to describe the people who can’t settle down and just date someone, I feel as if it’s time to go over the unwritten rules of “talking.”

Rule 1. Having feeling without feeling.

Keep Reading...Show less
The Stages of Having FOMO in College
iamthatgirl.com

Are you one of those people that gets super upset when you miss out on anything? Well, you may have FOMO, or fear of missing out. In college it’s not hard to experience FOMO every once in a while. You just love doing everything and anything, so hen you have to miss out on something it's the worst possible thing in your mind. Whether you’re sick, have to work, or have so much work to do you could cry – FOMO will hit you hard in college.

Keep Reading...Show less
Vivien Leigh
Revelist

I've lived a whole 21 years with an RBF (Resting Bitch Face), so naturally, I go through most of these struggles on a daily basis.

And before you ask, yes I'm fine. No, I'm not mad. This is just my face, so take it or leave it! To those of you who have been #blessed with an RBF, you'll probably relate to these more than you'd like to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Iconic Duos: Timeless Legends

From Luke and Leia to Beyonce's twins...

774736
Luke and Leia from Star Wars, a iconic duo
Lucasfilm

“Name a more iconic duo... I'll wait." OK, well, if you insist. In no particular order, here's a list of 100 iconic duos that seem to be timeless.

SEE MORE: This Is The ICONIC Disney Sidekick You Are To Your BFF, According To Your Zodiac Sign

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

A Candid Letter to My Best Friends Ex

Because this is the real form of torture you deserve.

1078
middle finger
Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

What's up Asshat,

I've composed a list of things that I wish upon you, and they're harsh and cruel. These things are things that I wouldn't wish upon my worst of enemies, not even that Starbuck's barista who always screws up my order, not even him. You fall into a whole other category of hate. You surpass Starbucks barista. Congratulations, I'm actually a pretty nice person, making you worthy of every single bit of torture I wish upon you. What are these things I wish upon you you might ask?

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments