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What Were They Thinking: A Victoria's Secret Show Preview

Proof that if you look confident you can pull anything off... kinda.

Alexandria Langdon

Dec 05, 2016

University of Louisville

100

What Were They Thinking: A Victoria's Secret Show Preview

Justin Bishop

It's that time of year; when everyone gushes and ohhs and ahhs over the FAB-U-LOUS Victoria's Secret models. Their bods, their hair, and the WTF looks that somehow made it on one of the most watched runways of the year. So grab a cookie and a glass of wine, and let's enjoy the fact that we get to eat burgers and not wear these ridiculous, albeit tantalizing costumes.

Let me just start out by saying I, like many girls my age, live for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show every year. Beautiful models with abs to make you not want to eat for a month, my generation eats that shit up! Body positivity be damned! But really, this year I am not sure what happened.

This show was most likely designed by:

a college student who's signature look is a sweatshirt that covers her shorts so she looks like she's not wearing pants,

Mushu,

the Birdwoman from "Home Alone 2",

a Ger·man·o·phile (the only one in existence),

AND

Paddington the Bear.

Don't believe me? Well just let me show you what I mean...

THE Pants Hating College Student Collection:

Guys, if I could ask for one thing for Christmas it would be to MAKE UNDER BOOB NOT A THING!

-- In reality it's just very uncomfortable, and weird looking...

Let's be honest, this is Regina George circa 2016. Pretty sure Tina Fey has a patent on this look.

'Member Pink Dogs? 'Member middle school when you wore basketball shorts to school and got pants-ed in the Commons and you had a thong on that day 'cause you were a rebel and bought 5 for $25 without your mom knowing and the whole school saw, laughed, and a little part of you died when you had to talk to the principal about it?

No? Just me?

But at least one Pink girl did slay:

THE MUSHU Collection :

Ok, I'll admit these aren't as bad as some of the PINK looks but that one model is carrying the dragon that the Huns are about to jump out of and kidnap the emperor!

THE Crazy Bird Woman Collection:

One of these things is not like the others... no, nope wait, they're all the same.

THE Germanophile Collection:

This is enough to make Heidi Klum cry.

And Finally,

THE Paddington Bear Collection:

Rihanna's Umbrella video was 9 years ago. 9 YEARS!

Despite these fashion fails you know I'll still be tuning in December 5th at 10/9C on CBS wine glass in hand.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

What Were They Thinking: A Victoria's Secret Show Preview

Proof that if you look confident you can pull anything off... kinda.

This show was most likely designed by:

a college student who's signature look is a sweatshirt that covers her shorts so she looks like she's not wearing pants,

Mushu,

the Birdwoman from "Home Alone 2",

a Ger·man·o·phile (the only one in existence),

AND

Paddington the Bear.

THE Pants Hating College Student Collection:

But at least one Pink girl did slay:

THE MUSHU Collection :

THE Crazy Bird Woman Collection:

One of these things is not like the others... no, nope wait, they're all the same.

THE Germanophile Collection:

This is enough to make Heidi Klum cry.

And Finally,

THE Paddington Bear Collection:

Rihanna's Umbrella video was 9 years ago. 9 YEARS!

Despite these fashion fails you know I'll still be tuning in December 5th at 10/9C on CBS wine glass in hand.

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"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

Please hold your blonde joke.

1. "Is Elle Woods your spirit animal?"

2. "Is that your natural hair color?"

3. "Oh wow, you get good grades at school?"

4. "You must really like the color pink!"

5. "You’re probably not into sports, right?"

6. "You must have such a bubbly personality."

7. "Your wardrobe must consist of all things preppy."

8. "What sorority are you in?"

9. "You were probably a cheerleader in high school."

10. "You look like you’re from L.A. because your hair is so light."

11. "You definitely like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks!"

12. "Do you actually think blondes have more fun?"

13. "You must encompass the typical “white girl” stereotype."

14. "Is that daddy’s credit card you’re using?"

15. "So all of your friends are blonde too?"

16. "I’m surprised about you; I thought you would be a lot ditsier."

The world's greatest university meets the world's greatest show.

1. When you get your acceptance letter

2. When you try to figure out how class enrollment works

3. When it’s move in day

4. When you arrive on campus and see all of the attractive people

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