When I was around 12, I had asked my parents permission to wear makeup. Instead of getting the response I wanted, they gave me a lecture on how beauty came from within a person and I didn't need makeup to make me beautiful because I already was naturally. At the time, as an overly emotional teenager, I was really mad at my parents for not letting me just wear makeup so I could be as pretty as the other girls. As I got older though, I began to appreciate the lesson my parents were trying to teach me. They didn't want me growing up and giving into society's unrealistic expectations of a women and their measure of my worth based on how "pretty" I looked. They didn't want me trying to downsize myself so that I could fit into the two syllable word. It wasn't until I was a junior in high school that I became very aware of the fact that I was both too lazy to put the effort into putting makeup on and I began to realize that I was not ugly and I didn't need makeup to make me pretty or beautiful. I began to accept my facial features for what they were.
It was only until I was a senior in high school that my mom bought me my first tube of mascara. I'll be honest, I was pretty excited because it was the most amount of makeup my parents had let me use that wasn't for a special occasion. It was only for school dances or special family occasions and even a professional photo shoot done once, that I was allowed to have makeup but it was usually removed almost immediately and it wasn't overly done so I looked very natural. So this single tube of mascara was the most amazing thing, but I didn't wear it often because I found it was still too much effort to put it on every morning. But this single tube of mascara also opened a door for me and taught me a new lesson I never would've considered before.
Once I moved to Pennsylvania and I was struggling to survive my first year of college, my mom bought me a small palette of eyeshadow. She said just to get me somewhat comfortable with wearing makeup in case I ever needed to for special occasions at school or to brighten my eyes for interviews or just because. My first initial thought was it was pointless to buy it because I was never going to wear it and I would never have time to try and figure out how to wear the stuff. Well a few months later, I would eat my own words. One day I was feeling pretty down on myself and I was having a rough week so I needed a pick me up. All the normal stuff I would do to help make me feel a little better weren't helping and I just happened to stumble upon the eyeshadow my mom had bought me. I had some extra time one morning before I had to leave for class so I thought why not. I put on my mascara like I normally do and then I applied a thin layer of eyeshadow the best I could and then left for class. It wasn't until I had returned to my dorm when I looked at myself more closely in the mirror, did I notice that my eyes looked a little brighter and in turn it made my face look a little brighter even though I was absolutely exhausted.
When I came home for break, I had asked a close friend of mine to show me how to apply the eyeshadow a little better and even eyeliner. Soon I began to collect different pieces of makeup and brushes so I could practice applying it and wear it without having to pay someone to do it or go to my cousins house so she could do it for me. I only went as far as wearing eyeshadow, mascara, and eyeliner. I liked how it made my eyes pop and it wasn't overwhelming. I was still too lazy to put it on everyday so I only went as far as putting on makeup if I had a big event to go to or if I was having a rough day and wanted to feel a little better about myself. It wasn't until very recently that I bought myself a face primer and a BB cream. I figured that I might as well take that extra step in wearing makeup, so I had that same friend who taught me how to apply eyeshadow come to my house and show me how to apply a full face of makeup with just BB cream, blush and my eye makeup. She, of course being the makeup fanatic she is, showed me what I wanted to know then applied more makeup such as concealer and other things I had no clue what it was. I'll admit, it looked pretty good and I loved the way the makeup made my face look more defined.
From my very short time in experimenting with makeup and actually putting the effort into applying it on my face, I've learned a few things about myself that I don't think I would've ever learned had I been completely stubborn and never actually tried makeup. The first thing I learned was, makeup isn't always to cover something up. It can be used to define certain features or make someone look more lively and accentuate something you might have not ever noticed before. For example, I always looked at my face in the mirror and just accepted the way I looked. I didn't think I was ugly but I didn't think I was particularly beautiful either and it never bothered me because I knew who I was and I was happy with it. Once I began to wear makeup, though, I began to notice that I have a favoritism towards my eyes. I love to wear eyeliner and mascara and all types of eyeshadows to make my eyes look a little brighter and for that to be the first thing people notice about me. I don't use the makeup to cover up my face or things I think are wrong with my face, I use it to highlight my favorite features.
The second thing I learned was, makeup can make you feel even more beautiful without having to be over extravagant. On particular days when I'm feeling down on myself or I'm having a rough day and need a pick me up, I'll just apply a little mascara and eyeliner and I go on with my day. I don't need to wake up earlier to apply so much makeup just to feel a little better about myself, just something so simple to get my day going and make me feel a little more confident about myself. It's such a simple thing but when I happen to glance at myself in the mirror and I see that my eyes look a little brighter, it just makes puts a little extra jump in my step. The last thing I learned about makeup was, people don't need makeup because they think they're ugly or have something to hide. One of my best friends who uses makeup is a very confident women and goes everyday without it but uses it on the occasion to give her a little confident booster or because she was bored and wanted to see what she could do. I'm finding that I'm the same way, as well. I don't wear makeup everyday, mostly because I'm too lazy, but also because I know I'm more than just pretty because of makeup. I don't look at myself in the mirror and hate the person looking back at me or think she's ugly. I look at myself and see a confident young women who is happy with her facial features but likes to use makeup to enhance her looks.
