What I Want To Say | The Odyssey Online
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What I Want To Say

The brutal truth, i'm not sorry

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What I Want To Say

If you're reading this, you know who you are. Please read each sentence closely. And please really think about what i'm about to say. Everything that i'm about to type is what i've been wanting to say to your face for the longest time, but I know that'll do no good. So i'll write it here.

You see I gave you every piece of my heart. You healed it actually, you glued the broken pieces back together and you made my heart a heart again. I'll forever thank you for that. But you also broke it more than it was broken in the first place. You created more pieces than I had before you. I didn't know a heartache would feel that painful. You took my heart and you threw it on the ground. You have no idea how miserable and upset you made me feel. After I gave you everything, after I allowed you in, you hurt me, more than I was hurt before. You caused more pain that I thought was possible.

I held on to you for such a long time, months after we broke up, I just couldn't find the strength to get over and to put you in the past like you did to me. You forgot about me. You left me and that was the end of it for you. Well, not for me. I stayed up so many nights staring at the ceiling wondering what I could've done to make you stay. Wondering if there was anything I could have said to fix what we had broken. What I had broken. But I knew that nothing would work.. Because you don't care. You could care less if I left this world. I mean nothing to you anymore, and that makes me wonder if I even ever did.

I'm letting you go for good. I've been living my life more lately because i've been pushing your name out of my head, and my mouth and my out of my heart. You're history, and that's okay. God didn't want us together and i'm okay with that.

Here's the brutal part that i've been dying to say...

You probably want me to say that I hope you're doing good and that I hope college is a great thing and that I hope you do great things. But I don't hope that. I don't want to say any of that. I'm not going to lie to protect your feelings, why would I do that? So here it goes.

I hope you lose yourself while you're trying to other things. I hope you don't get everything you've ever wanted. I don't wish you the best for your future. I wish you the worst actually. Am I sorry for saying that? No, not at all. I hope you read this, because I want you to know, that there's not one single part of me that hopes you find your life. Not one single part of me wants to wish you the best, just the worst. I couldn't care less about how your life is going and when you're moving to go off to college. I'm glad you're gone, and I can't wait until you pack your bags and leave. Because then i'll never have to see your face, for a very long time.

And, if you ever start to get this weird feeling about my name, forget it. A girls time to get over a boy is starting with the crying and the missing and the regretting, then we get better as time goes on, we forget the way it felt to hold your hand and hear your voice. We forget the sound of your heartbeat and the way your cologne smelt. Then we live, we start to enjoy our lives and we move on. A guys time to get over a girl starts with enjoying life, and being happy with the way life goes. Then as more and more time goes on, they realize it, they realize how big of a jerk they were and how they messed everything up. And if you ever feel that way, if you ever want to text me and ask me where i'm going to college and how my life is going, it'll be pointless. Because by that time, i'll be gone. I'll be gone for good and there's nothing holding me to you anymore. Forget it. If there comes a time where you're just thinking of my smell, and my laugh and my smile, I want you to do something.. I want you to put all of those thoughts on a shelf, and get rid of them. Because I don't ever want to speak to you ever again.

Goodbye.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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