My least favorite question: "What do you want to do?"
The problem for me, ever since I was young, was that there were so many things I wanted to do.
Choosing a college was difficult, because nearly every school I looked at was fascinating. Once I chose a school, the next part was choosing a major. And again, I was stumped. I found nearly every subject interesting, even though I wasn't very good at some things. I had to work hard to understand biology, study to remember zoology, and stay up late to try to master math (which, admittedly, I never did). Entering college, I thought I was going to pursue biology, as I was always interested in the field. But after a few English courses, I knew I had found my passion: writing.
The newest challenge I have found in my life is the most daunting -- What I actually want to do with my life.
All of these difficult decisions should not be surprising. I still struggle to understand why I can't choose. But as long as I can remember, everything has interested me. I grew up watching the History channel, amazed by past civilizations. I watched the Discovery channel, trying to understand the complexities of the world that were way beyond my years. I watched cartoons and laughed, but I also watched documentaries, and wondered. I now realize that my childhood gave me a wonderfully open mind, but with so many interests, it is difficult to choose just one thing.
English is a wonderful language, and a big field. So when someone asks, "What do you want to do?" I can never really give them a great answer. While I would love to be a writer, a novelist, a professor, a journalist, or a reporter, I have so many other things I want to do.
I would love to be a professional, but I want to travel the world. I want to travel cross-country in a car and come back again. I want to volunteer and I want to help others. I want to teach others and see other parts of the world. I want to learn another language and live in another country. I want to get lost and stay lost for a while. I want to be happy, but I want to be successful. I want to live simply but actually live, not just exist.
So when people ask me what I want to do, I struggle to answer with what I want to do, or who I want to be, or how I want to live. While there is time to figure it out, there is also the pressing question of how I want to live. Comfortably, or modestly? Can one live comfortably by doing what they want to do?
I never know how to answer the question, and I don't know if I ever will. Another big question in every person's life. Sometimes I think the question shouldn't be "What do you want to do," but, "How do you want to live?"
