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What a Trump White House Actually Looks Like

His 2009 renovation of Lowes Island Club, now Trump National Golf Club, shows us what to really expect from a Trump White House.

Annelise Kollevoll

Oct 17, 2016

University of Virginia

111

What a Trump White House Actually Looks Like

While Donald Trump's charge towards the presidency is (fortunately) losing steam, many still wonder and worry about what a Trump presidency might look like. I have perhaps more inside information than some on this topic, since Donald Trump purchased and gutted the Lowes Island Club -- now Trump National Golf Club, Washington D.C. -- in 2009 when my family held a membership there. While his choices of course illustrated his poor taste, a few changes in particular might give us a hint of what a Trump White House would look like...

1. He Built a W(ater F)all

Before:

After:

Since The White House is already white, he'll have no problem with the exterior color choice. Something tells me his administration might take whitewashing a bit further than house color...

3. And Gold

Swim Team:

The caps were so gold that they burned in the heat.Maybe I should've worn a red "Make America Great Again" hat instead.

Interior:

the wealthy even wealthier. That said, I doubt his flare for the expensive will help him cut government spending.

4. He Puts Pictures of Himself in the Women's Locker Room

My mom took these photos after Trump renovated the locker room because she couldn't believe he would hang pictures of himself in the women's changing area.

But hey, they make for great locker room talk, right?

5. He Fires People

According to the highly reliable tennis mom gossip, Trump fired most of the club's kitchen and dining room staff when the frozen yogurt machine broke at the Fourth of July Party. Not an overreaction at all. His temperament is obviously as cool as froyo.

6. He Keeps Out Foreign Competition

With products like Trump Mints, Trump Golf Tees, and of course Trump Ice, The Donald prevents outside companies from profiting off his club members ~~so he can profit off them all by himself~~.

7. He Actually Made the Food Better

While I am not a fan of his gaudy taste and felt unnerved by constant appearance of his visage when I changed clothes, Donald Trump did a really good job fixing the food. So if this presidential election was actually a contest for who would cater my wedding, I'd vote Trump.

But, alas, that's not what this election is about, and since Donald Trump is an inexperienced politician with a deplorable character, I'll leave him to making ice water with his face on it.

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What a Trump White House Actually Looks Like

His 2009 renovation of Lowes Island Club, now Trump National Golf Club, shows us what to really expect from a Trump White House.

1. He Built a W(ater F)all

3. And Gold

4. He Puts Pictures of Himself in the Women's Locker Room

5. He Fires People

6. He Keeps Out Foreign Competition

7. He Actually Made the Food Better

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AKA, Christmas overload.

I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

1. Watch an R-rated Scary Movie in a Movie Theater

2. Buy a Lottery Ticket

3. Vote in an Election

4. Participate in a Run (or a Walk, Realistically) for Charity

5. Go on a Road Trip

6. Start a Savings Account

7. Get a Credit Card

8. Sign up for Spotify Premium

9. Go to a Club

10. Start a Meditation Routine

11. Go to a Yoga Class

12. Treat Myself to a Dinner for One

13. Volunteer for a Charity

14. Participate in a Research Study

15. Bake Something (That Ends Up Being Edible)

16. Go Skydiving

17. Be Called for Jury Duty

18. Figure Out What I Want to Do With my Life

The holiday classics that shaped my life

1."But what would happen if we all tried to be like Santa and learned to give as only he can give: of ourselves, our talents, our love and our hearts? Maybe we could all learn Santa's beautiful lesson and maybe there would finally be peace on Earth and good will toward men."

"Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see."

"If you won't use your heart, who cares if it gets broken? If you just keep it to yourself, maybe it'll be like my rollerblades. When you do decide to try it, it won't be any good. You should take a chance. Got nothing to lose."

"Remember, no man is a failure who has friends."

"Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it."

"If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find a that love actually is all around."

"Sometimes things look good on paper, but lose their luster when you see how it affects real folks. I guess a healthy bottom line doesn't mean much if to get it, you have to hurt the ones you depend on."

"'Maybe Christmas,' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.'"

"Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to."

"There's room for everyone on the nice list."

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

1. Why are towels considered dirty when you get out of the shower clean?

2. Who closes the bus door once the bus driver gets off?

3. Why is there a "d" in "fridge" but not in "refrigerator"?

4. If you drop soap on the floor is the floor clean or the soap dirty?

5. Is the "S" or the "C" silent in the word "scent"?

6. Does expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?

7. Would Lightning McQueen buy car insurance or life insurance?

8. Who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?

9. What color are mirrors?

10. If 2 mind readers read each other's minds whose mind are they really reading?

11. Is there a synonym for "synonym"?

12. If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, are your pants tucked into your shirt?

13. Why is it called "quick sand" if you sink slowly in it?

14. If I try to fail, but succeed, which one did I do?

15. If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?

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