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What a Trump White House Actually Looks Like

His 2009 renovation of Lowes Island Club, now Trump National Golf Club, shows us what to really expect from a Trump White House.

Annelise Kollevoll

Oct 17, 2016

University of Virginia

111

What a Trump White House Actually Looks Like

While Donald Trump's charge towards the presidency is (fortunately) losing steam, many still wonder and worry about what a Trump presidency might look like. I have perhaps more inside information than some on this topic, since Donald Trump purchased and gutted the Lowes Island Club -- now Trump National Golf Club, Washington D.C. -- in 2009 when my family held a membership there. While his choices of course illustrated his poor taste, a few changes in particular might give us a hint of what a Trump White House would look like...

1. He Built a W(ater F)all

Before:

After:

Since The White House is already white, he'll have no problem with the exterior color choice. Something tells me his administration might take whitewashing a bit further than house color...

3. And Gold

Swim Team:

The caps were so gold that they burned in the heat.Maybe I should've worn a red "Make America Great Again" hat instead.

Interior:

the wealthy even wealthier. That said, I doubt his flare for the expensive will help him cut government spending.

4. He Puts Pictures of Himself in the Women's Locker Room

My mom took these photos after Trump renovated the locker room because she couldn't believe he would hang pictures of himself in the women's changing area.

But hey, they make for great locker room talk, right?

5. He Fires People

According to the highly reliable tennis mom gossip, Trump fired most of the club's kitchen and dining room staff when the frozen yogurt machine broke at the Fourth of July Party. Not an overreaction at all. His temperament is obviously as cool as froyo.

6. He Keeps Out Foreign Competition

With products like Trump Mints, Trump Golf Tees, and of course Trump Ice, The Donald prevents outside companies from profiting off his club members ~~so he can profit off them all by himself~~.

7. He Actually Made the Food Better

While I am not a fan of his gaudy taste and felt unnerved by constant appearance of his visage when I changed clothes, Donald Trump did a really good job fixing the food. So if this presidential election was actually a contest for who would cater my wedding, I'd vote Trump.

But, alas, that's not what this election is about, and since Donald Trump is an inexperienced politician with a deplorable character, I'll leave him to making ice water with his face on it.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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What a Trump White House Actually Looks Like

His 2009 renovation of Lowes Island Club, now Trump National Golf Club, shows us what to really expect from a Trump White House.

1. He Built a W(ater F)all

3. And Gold

4. He Puts Pictures of Himself in the Women's Locker Room

5. He Fires People

6. He Keeps Out Foreign Competition

7. He Actually Made the Food Better

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#Adulting is hard.

1. Taking care of yourself when you're sick

2. Making a to-do list

3. Planning your activities around the weather

4. Scheduling your own doctor’s appointments

5. Getting your own toilet paper

6. Making food without needing to ask your mom questions

7. Holding your tongue

8. Saving your paycheck (or your tax refund) to pay your bills

9. Balancing your checkbook

10. Going places alone

11. Packing your own lunches

12. Actually eating your vegetables...on purpose

13. Taking a multivitamin

14. Planning a life after graduation

Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

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