I have been doing a lot of thinking about friendship during these past few months. I suppose this did not start out of the blue. During college, you are exposed to so many new people, and hopefully, you find a group of friends that you can lean on. I certainly found a solid group of friends during my first year, but I also met some friends who made me question what friendship really means.
I take my friendships very seriously. I make my friends a priority in my life, because I care about them and try to make an effort to be there when they need me. Plus, friends are fun to be around. If you are not having fun when you are with your "friends", then you have chosen the wrong ones.
Since I care so much about my friends, I get my feelings hurt when I feel like there isn't an effort being made on their end. I hate when I am always the one making the plans or texting first. Nothing aggravates me more. I won't say I am not guilty of this at times, but I do my best to be aware of how I am treating the people I care about. I understand that people are busy, but you can tell in your gut when another person is not considering you as much as you are considering them.
What's even more agitating is when you feel like someone has an underhanded reason for being your friend in the first place. I want friends who like me for me, not just for what I can do for them. I get it. I live in a nice house and my parents are fun and blah, blah, blah. If that is the only reason you are interested in me, there is the door. Do not think I will let you take advantage of me and my amazing family, because I won't. If you have duel intentions, I will know. I am no fool and neither are my parents.
I also cannot stand it when I feel like people are just interested in me, because they want to be friends with the people I am friends with. I am not just a rung on the social ladder that you can step on, on your way to the top. It hurts me when I feel like I have made a new friend, and then they meet my friends and seem to like them better. I am not a second option, and I am worth so much more than cancelled plans and voicemails.
To me, friends are people who go out of their way to give a damn about you. I hold my friendships to very high standards, because I do not have time for anything less. I understand that people are busy, but the ones who go out of their way for you are the ones worth keeping around.
All this being said, thank you to my true friends out there. Thank you for making me feel like I matter. Thank you for bringing out the best in me. Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for challenging me when I need to be challenged. Thank you for telling me what I need to hear, not just what I want to hear. Thank you for liking me for me. Thank you for motivating me to be the best in everything I do. Thank you for listening. Thank you for the advice. And most importantly, thank you for your consistency. I love you all so much, and I've always got your back.
Love,
A Friend
