Real talk: I've been a little all over the place lately. This semester has picked up and I have found myself getting pulled under a current of tests, meetings, and busyness, all of which pulled me into a downward spiral of stress and insecurity and fear.
If you hadn't realized by now, my articles are often on things I need just as much as I think you do because I am every bit as human and broken and imperfect as you. And the past few days and weeks have had way too many days of not wanting to get out of bed and face the world.
So that's where I'm coming from this week. I need Jesus so much, I need His joy and I need His peace. I shared this on my Insta recently but I've had Lauren Daigle's song "Rescue" pretty much on a loop lately and would very much recommend leaving this article right now and listening to the whole song (!!), but the bridge goes like this:
"I hear the whisper underneath your breath
I hear you whisper you have nothing left,
I will send out an army to find you
in the middle of the darkest night, it's true,
I will rescue you"
I truly hope and pray this article meets you in your pain, and more importantly, that God uses my feeble words to speak His truth into you and let you know how known and loved and you are, or whatever else you need today. These are words I needed right now, and maybe you do too.
You. Are. So. Loved.
I feel like I say this a lot but this is not because it is something that is to be taken lightly but because I so strongly believe we so often do not believe it. Read Romans 5:8, Ephesians 2:4-5, Psalms 139, Hosea 2:19, Psalm 40:11, and the list goes on and on. There is a love that is found in Christ that is so much deeper and more beautiful than my words can begin to express.
God sees whatever you're going through, and he feels every ounce of pain you feel.
Hebrews 4 reminds us that Jesus felt everything we felt and was tempted and experienced every earthly pain and hurt and human thing. He knows you deeply, and He knows your pain deeply too.
It is never too late to dust yourself off and try again.
Get back up, it's the hardest part.
Stop holding onto that thing you are trying to control and give it to God.
You were never meant to handle all of the things you are carrying on your own. Giving up your sense of control is scary, but let's be honest, we were never really in control anyways.
Stop doubting God.
James 1:6-7 says this:
"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind."
This is so much easier said than done. My life would be a breeze if I could ever entirely figure this one out. God is mighty, and He is bigger and greater than we could ever imagine. We can depend on Him. You can depend on Him.
Stop doubting yourself.
You were made so much more than insecurity and self doubt. Do not let these things hold you captive and keep you from fully living anymore. You can do it.
Pray big prayers, and trust that God hears you.
Prayer is real. Prayer is powerful. Simply put, Matthew 7 says to seek and you will find. Get down on your knees and cry out to the Lord if that's what it takes. It doesn't have to be eloquent or full of adoration and filler words. Some of my most powerful prayers have been no more than ten words. But the important thing is that you tell God what you are feeling. You don't have to sugar coat anything, He already sees you and knows what you're going through. Pray prayers you don't think could ever be answered. Pray big prayers.
You are exactly where you are supposed to be.
Your life doesn't look like your friend's or your neighbor's or your classmate's and that is on purpose and okay. Whatever weird, awkward place you're in right now is not by accident. You are not single by accident. You are not in that hard class by accident, or in that sticky situation by accident.
Jesus died for the very worst of you, saw the very worst of you, and loves you all the more anyways.
This is the gospel. This is the culmination of Christianity, of all of that we are seeking from this world. Before we were anything, 2000 years ago, Jesus Christ willingly sacrificed himself on a cross not because he had to, but because He loved you.
You will not always feel like such a mess.
This season is temporary. It will not last forever. All you have to do is keep going, and remember that even the tiniest of baby steps are progress!
God wants so much more for you than to live your life in fear and doubt and insecurity.
As you can probably tell by now, I've struggled a lot recently with doubting God. He has opened my eyes to how much I can say I am doing this Christian thing and how many empty words and prayers I give to God when I actually don't believe He is capable and moving in my life.
Because God is so big, and He is so enough.
I let fear grab ahold of me and not let go. I am afraid of what I cannot control (so, pretty much everything), as is a common thing in this world of self-reliance. God watches me and you try to juggle it all, and then he sees us crumpled on the floor after it all fell apart.
He wants more for you than that. You do not have to live in fear. I know this can look different for everyone, but I will leave you with 2 Timothy 1:7,
"for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."
You are still capable of doing great things even when you do not feel great inside.
A line from a song I love says this "My weakness is my honor, not my shame" (Save Me x Steffany Gretzinger) and there is so much truth to that. Just because you feel incapable and inadequate, or maybe just all around not great, does not mean you cannot accomplish something. Not to mention God's power works best through those who are unqualified and not ready and ill-equipped. All it takes is a little faith in God and in yourself.
You have no idea what you're doing and where you're going and that's okay.
I know so much is unknown. I know how scary it is to feel like you are walking blindly through life, and like everyone around seems to have it all figured out as you're stumbling along in the dark.
Seek God and seek and pray and desire His will for your life, and I can promise you will be in the right direction. You are on the right path. You will get there someday, don't worry.
Lean on and confide in the people around you, that's what they are there for.
It's okay to let people in.
All of this is so temporary.
A verse I came across a few months ago and have clinged to ever since is Psalm 39:4,
"O Lord, make me know my end
and what is the measure of my days;
let me know how fleeting I am."
Let me know how fleeting I am. Wow what a prayer and a statement that is. It reminds me that every situation and every hard and terrible thing we have to deal with on this earth is so temporary. This is not so that me and you can continue to wallow and sit in whatever we are dealing with, but to remind us that we have something permanent to fix our hopes on, an eternal life with Jesus Christ himself that, once accepting Christ and living out his plans for your life, no one can take away from you.
