A few weeks into college I was lucky enough to find a cheap flight home to Minnesota. The flight wouldn't conflict with any of my classes, and I would get some time at home. Most importantly, I would get to see my mom. I booked the flight and waited.
Finally, the time arrive for me to come home. I anxiously finished my math class and awaited my shuttle pick up. (I didn't feel like adding the stress of the train to my first airport trip alone). I arrived with plenty of time which was good considering the line for security is crazy at O'hare Airport. My flight had been delayed to 4 p.m., but I still got in by 5:30 p.m.
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I rushed past baggage claim and saw my mom in her car through the large glass walls. We made eye contact, and I waved. She was gleaming, and I started to tear up. I had really missed my mom. As I entered the car, I immediately was greeted by my mom's sweet embrace. As we were headed to the freeway, I was overwhelmed by emotion. I wasn't sure if it was from missing my mom so much, or even just being on roads that I recognized...being in a place I felt was home. We take knowing things, places, people for granted; how lovely it is to truly know something. My mom cried as I cried. Eventually,our happy tears were over as we reached the traffic of 494 (shout out to Minnesota road construction). We headed straight from Punch Pizza. If you unsure what that is, it's the most amazing Mediterranean style pizza! There are only two in Minnesota, and lucky for me I live in the same city as one. As I shared a delicious pizza and salad with my mom, I felt conflicted. This place was one of my favorite go-to's when I lived here, but it was also one of my date spots. It just went to show being home didn't grant you the past.
I visited my old work, and I was very happy that one of my beloved managers was there. The store looked different besides some old merchandise. We talked for awhile about the company, and she updated me. I realized, as much as I had missed my old job while I was at college, it was a different place with different people. I wondered if the new girls know the memories that store hides. I wonder if they know the stories about "ghosts," or if they know that we all did pencil tests to try and figure out how many kids we all would have. They couldn't know the laughter we shared, the tears we cried, the success we accomplished at that same cash wrap. I suddenly realized it was no longer my store or my job; it was just a store now...It was their store now.
I got home, and I cannot explain how it felt to smell my house, Oh my gosh! My apartment could never smell as clean and amazing as home. My mom showed me her new decor (she has good style, so I was impressed). I looked around the rooms where I once spent a majority of my hours, and I thought about my last days home before I left. How they were spent and who I spent them with. I just never thought this life would be my reality. People I thought I would know forever were gone. My best friends spread throughout the country. This was our city, our place, but no one was here anymore. The sadness was wiped away with my mom presenting an adult coloring book. We colored a picture together like we did when I was little. Trashy reality TV—our favorite—played in the background as we sat in her bed. This was home. This is something no college, no dorm, no apartment could give you.
Saturday was spent shopping at Ridgedale! If you are from Minnesota, and you have not gone there since they updated it, I highly recommend you go! My mom bought me some new makeup, a Kate Spade Wallet and a Halloween costume. No I'm not completely spoiled--they count as my Christmas gifts. OK, I'm still spoiled. I got to drive my mom's car everywhere, which felt amazing! I miss driving! I would have loved to drive my car, but it won't start. I drive a fairly new and nice car, so I can't even comment on this without stressing out. Hopefully, everyone can fix it without me because frankly I can't help while I'm away, and I feel completely powerless.
I spent the night relaxing at home with my mom watching "Modern Family" reruns and packing for the airport. I leave at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning, and I don't know how I will get on that flight. I hope the amazing accomplishments I've made already at college push me back, but I am so torn. I was always the person that swore they would never go to college in-state. I wanted to spread my wings and fly. Now I am flying, and I really miss having a "home." I miss walking somewhere and having memories there. Then again, I know this place isn't where I want to be. I want to be in the past where my friends live 20 or 30 minutes away at most. I want to be at our high school with all our teachers that made us laugh and learn. I want to work with my Justice girls and shop for little girls with crabby moms. I want my old life back and all the people that were in it.
As I pack for the airport, and share my last moments with my mom, I am so thankful for my new friends at college. I am thankful for classes and teachers I love. I am thankful to be able to double major and gain networking experience. I am thankful to build my portfolio to start a hopefully successful career in the fashion industry. I have experienced so much good at college. I guess what I learned by going home is that growing up isn't always easy. Sometimes we are going to miss things and people, but we just have to thankful for the time we had together and the memories we made. I believe God has a plan for me, and I don't know what it is quite yet, but I know tomorrow I will get on that plane, and I will fly back to college to make amazing memories and accomplish my dreams.
