I think I have to write about this one because it's the most relevant thing in my life at the moment. With that said, I will try to remain positive in my exploration of the somewhat defeating phenomenon.
In my life: hard work, honesty, and openness have always been the foundational pillars of any success I've had in my personal and professional aspirations. That said, what do you do when that's no longer enough? When you've exhausted all opportunity or possibility and no amount of effort and honesty can get you further.
Nothing.
There's nothing else you can do.
When you put in your best, sometimes it just isn't enough and I'd like to say that's ok, but it's never going to feel ok to those to put themselves through the hoops. That's the hard truth of it and I wish that I could say that isn't the case, but every so often we're faced with a mountain we cannot climb. Sometimes there are things we wish would work out, but they don't and there's no explanation that will come. There's no preparation that could prepare you. It will just happen.
With anything that I do, I commit fully. I've always been that way and I don't think that will ever change. I think it's been a great asset in many aspects of my life, but sometimes letting go of something can be very difficult for me to do. It's difficult because when you invest so fully in something it feels almost impossible that it might not go your way. It attacks your heart and you have no defense. That's the devastating challenge of living openly.
The rewards are plentiful, but the lows can drag you pretty far below the depths. In my case, I've always believed that if I could just muster a little more faith, if I could just push a little further, maybe, just maybe, something will work out. Today and for the last couple weeks I've been struggling with something that I just can't overcome and that's because it's not something I can. It's just one of those things we as people have to accept.
I hate throwing in the towel, but at some point when things just can't be for reasons known or unknown; the only thing left to do is move on. That isn't to say you've given up on anything, but that for some reason, at this moment the last two puzzle pieces are from separate sets. So you go forward and you allow yourself to. You find new things or old things that bring you joy and happiness and maybe one day you get another chance, or you find a new opportunity. Until then, you keep working on yourself and try to remain positive and optimistic about the things that excited you before the event and after it.
