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What To Do When You Were Wrong

Forgive yourself.

Nov 29, 2018

Jamie Street

We tend to think we know a lot. Even when we don't know a lot about something, we often pretend that we do as some sort of defense mechanism to protect our fragile egos. Sometimes we're right, a lot of times we're wrong. I find that when I am wrong (which I, like most, hate to be), I regress into this weird, compounding state of defeat where I overcompensate for my wrongdoing by aggressively over-apologizing, then "move forward" by taking the rest of it out on myself. And so, I've developed a checklist. So, what, you were wrong? We often are. Instead of sending yourself spiraling, here's a step-by-step for how to stay sane through your mistakes.

Admit it. To yourself, then to others.

The first and hardest step. We all have inherently large egos considering our inevitable placement at the very center of our respective universes. Reality exists by us and other people exist through us. This isn't an inherently wrong proclivity— there is no conceivable way to make sense of the world if not by way of prioritizing our own perspectives. Yet, we must admit that other perspectives exist, just as other people exist, and those other perspectives, though not placed at the convenient center of our universe, can be just as if not more valid for that very reason.

Apologize for that which you are sorry, don’t apologize for that which you are not.

The latter is crucial. If you apologize for more than you mean, the true apology bears little weight. Diluting an apology is like rejecting a compliment. Both reactions present issues of insincerity rooted in our personal discomfort. By reacting insincerely, we transmit discomfort to the other person, making them unsure of how to digest our true intentions. We must learn how to rightly give and how to rightly accept.

Do not dwell.

Do all you can to rectify the situation and there will be no reason to allow your guilt to linger. Know what you are responsible for, your actions and your reactions, and then enforce your boundaries. Once you have given the apology owed, do not allow yourself to feel (or anyone to make you feel) as though you owe anything more.

Allow your mistakes to inform your future success.

If you realize too late—to the point where an apology would be futile— forgive yourself. Establish a conscious effort to do, to be, better.

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What To Do When You Were Wrong

Forgive yourself.

In This Article:

Admit it. To yourself, then to others.

Apologize for that which you are sorry, don’t apologize for that which you are not.

Do not dwell.

Allow your mistakes to inform your future success.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

#Adulting is hard.

1. Taking care of yourself when you're sick

2. Making a to-do list

3. Planning your activities around the weather

4. Scheduling your own doctor’s appointments

5. Getting your own toilet paper

6. Making food without needing to ask your mom questions

7. Holding your tongue

8. Saving your paycheck (or your tax refund) to pay your bills

9. Balancing your checkbook

10. Going places alone

11. Packing your own lunches

12. Actually eating your vegetables...on purpose

13. Taking a multivitamin

14. Planning a life after graduation

Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

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