Unless you've been living under a rock, you probably know about the endless clown sightings. In an effort to make sure that everyone is safe, I've decided to create a list of 10 things to do when you see a clown. Stay safe out there kids.
1. Run
Don't even stop to make sure that it's actually a clown and not just an oddly shaped tree. Just run.
2. Cry
Now this is important, make sure that you don't stop running to cry. You need to perfect the art of running and crying simultaneously.
3. Prepare the pepper spray
Okay, now make sure that you are able to secure your pepper spray while running and crying. From the outside you may look like a mess but you know that you are a clown fighting ninja.
4. Figure out where you're running to
You can't just run aimlessly. Eventually you'll get tired and the clown will catch you. Run to the closest building that you would feel safe in. Now make sure while you're thinking about where to run, you're still crying and securing your pepper spray.
6. Run faster
You might be getting a little tired right about now. Don't let your guard down even if you can't see the clown anymore and are beginning to doubt its existence entirely. You need to run even faster to save your own life.
7. Prepare to kill the clown
You can't run forever. The clown may be able to get close to you and you need to be mentally prepared to kill the clown. Now if you are morally against this, then you need to get your act together. It's your life vs. his. If you still can't fathom this then you need to know how to knock him unconscious long enough for you to escape.
8. Become the clown ninja
You have prepared. Use this adrenaline to kill the clown and get away.
9. Celebrate getting away from the clown
You did it! You survived a clown attack.
10. What not to do...
Do not... I repeat DO NOT take a picture of the clown and post it on social media. This is not a wise decision and may result in your death.