It sucks. It really really sucks. Here you are trying to date this person that you think is great, but their family thinks you are nothing special. You try to be nice and funny and sweet and show them that you are worthy of dating their beloved son, daughter, cousin, whatever, but it doesn’t matter, because they are already set on disliking you. The mom, the dad, the siblings, etcetera. It’s intense, man, and you’re left awkwardly trying to pretend you don’t know that they vehemently dislike you.

The reality of the situation is that there is basically nothing you can do to convince them that you are, in fact, a great human being, because chances are they don’t actually dislike you as much as they dislike the fact that you’re dating someone they think deserves the best. Right now, you’re probably not the best to them. Right now, you’re just some girl or guy sitting on their couch who seems desperate for their approval. I’ve been that girl - ahem - I’m still that girl. But what I’ve learned slowly but surely is that, if you stick around long enough, eventually they start disliking you less and less - at least that’s what I’m hoping for.

Look, all you can do is wait and be yourself. Your significant other thinks you’re pretty great, and that’s what matters the most. If you’re genuinely nice and care about that person, eventually the family starts seeing that you’re not that bad after all. Before you try and befriend bae’s sister, focus on building that relationship you have with yourself and your actual relationship with bae. In looking for the approval of others, we seem too thirsty, and it’s so transparent. Real connections take time. It doesn’t happen overnight, and more than likely it’s not going to happen the first time you and his family are sitting for brunch. #TheStruggleIsReal.

But what I’ve learned is that when it’s real, it usually does happen, because the one thing both you and the family have in common is that you both want your significant other to be happy. You just have to be patient and trust the process (but if their best friend doesn’t like you, good luck, because then it’s really an uphill battle).