There's something specific that has been on my heart, something that has been tugging at me for a couple of weeks now -- that is, the relationship between men and women. Now-- I realize some of you may be thinking I'm getting ready to approach a very delicate subject; and you would be correct. There is nothing easy about the relationship between men and women, yet there are things that I know to be concrete. That's what I want to talk about, because I have been convicted time and time again in the last few weeks that we as men, are often missing the point in a BIG way. Just as a buffer, let me state that: these are my opinions and beliefs about being a Godly man, I will be using the Bible as a reference, and I will not be "calling anyone out" specifically. The thoughts that are going to be presented are the fruit of conversations, prayers, and study.... Here we go.
Thought #1- Women are to be cherished.
Proverbs 31:10-12 "Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?She is more precious than rubies, Her husband can trust her,and she will greatly enrich his life.She brings him good, not harm,all the days of her life."
I am often reminded that the Brotherhood that I am a part of, is vastly different than the Brotherhood most of the world is a part of. In fact, the Brotherhood of this World is destructive to our lives, because of the way it teaches us to approach the relationship between men and women. Too often we take women for granted, and yes I mean that as a generalization. I'm guilty of it as well, in a number of ways. I want to clarify one thing -- when I say "Women are to be cherished", I don't just mean your wife or girlfriend. I mean Women, the whole population of Women. Does that mean that there aren't some women out there that are just as lost as us men? Not at all. However, as men we are still called to cherish them. That includes our mothers, sisters, daughters, friends, nieces, cousins, coworkers... all of them. I personally am very thankful for every woman in my life, ESPECIALLY the first two from the list above. Even though I don't show it all the time -- because I'm a man, which inherently makes me an idiot at times -- I cherish my mother and sister. Without their influence I wouldn't stand a chance finding a girlfriend/or wife, and I sure as heck wouldn't be the man I am today. Obviously the influence our family has on us should be one that we cherish, especially when it's positive. However, in my opinion, there's one huge reason I think women should be cherished, which leads to thought #2.
Thought #2- Women are to walk beside us, Men.
Think about what I mean here..
"So the LordGod caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs[d] and closed up the opening.22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.“At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone,and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’because she was taken from ‘man.’” Genesis 2:21-23 (NLT)
Could it be anymore clear? Woman was taking from Man's side, created from a rib.
"Woman was taken out of man; not out of his head to top him, nor out of his feet to be trampled underfoot; but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved." - Unknown
That's what I'm getting at here. It's true, God created Woman to be a helper to Man, because God realized no other mate would do. MEN, women were created to complete us, because we couldn't be happy or fulfilled without them. Can you imagine if this world was all men? No, you couldn't because it would have humanity would have ceased to exist years ago. Woman was taken from the rib, near to his heart to be loved. We are inherently called to love women, and I don't just mean that in a worldly manner. What then are we supposed to do when we realize that? I refer you back to Thought #1... let's cherish them. Which leads too...
Thought #3- Women are to be honored.
I'm going to quote a friend of mine, that has hit the nail on the head with his take on Godly courtship of a woman...
"In Biblical courtship, commitment precedes intimacy. As men, we are to treat all women as sisters in Christ, with absolute purity. We should show leadership and willingness to bear the risk of rejection by illustrating the foundation and the pace of the relationship. Christian women will be honored, even as they are pursued. Christian wives will be honored. And God will be glorified." - Tyler Lee DeHaven
Christian women will be honored, just as we as Christian men often expect to be honored. I wonder if people realize just how significant that is. Through the honoring of the women in our lives, we glorify God. Women are not "prized possessions" because we do not possess them. We stand next to them, we walk through life with them. Thought that we should also be honoring them. They deserve to be honored because of all they do for us as men. And there are too few men, standing up for what's right when it comes to the way we approach relationships with women. I'm not married-- yet-- but I love what Ephesians says to husbands about their wives..men are called to love their wives, as they love themselves.. because NO MAN has ever hated his own flesh. As Godly men, shouldn't we be preparing ourselves to love our wives that way, by honoring the women that are so influential in our lives currently?
Here's the last quote I'm going to throw at you...
"Every relationship for a Christian is an opportunity to love another person like God has loved us. To lay down our desires and do what’s in his or her best interest. To care for him or her even when there’s nothing in it for us. To want that person’s purity and holiness because it pleases God and protects him or her."- Josh Harris
Every relationship. Not just the woman we are going to marry, or our mom, or sisters -- Every relationship. That means every relationship we have in our daily lives should be used to love like Christ loves.. I realized today that's a pretty big list. That means all of the women in my family, all my friends that are girls, all my female coworkers, and the ladies that prepare my food in the cafeteria at work deserve to be cherished, honored, loved, and prayed for the way Christ has done all those things for me.
I'm sure there are men that are going to laugh at this, maybe some women too. I hope the main point is understood though. As MEN we have a responsibility to uplift the women in our lives.. because let's be honest-- if God hadn't created Eve from Adam... we wouldn't be here today. So thank you to the women in my life-- thank you for loving me, for providing joy, comfort, conviction, an ear to listen, laughs, and a perfect example of the beauty of God's creation. I hope that in the coming hours, days, weeks, and months I can show the women in my life how much I cherish them, I can walk beside them, and I can honor them. God has called me to do so... and answering that call is crucial.
