"I can't think of anything that excites a greater sense of childlike wonder than to be in a country where you are ignorant of almost everything. Suddenly, you are five years old again. You can't read anything, you have only the most rudimentary sense of how things work, you can't even reliably cross a street without endangering your life. Your whole existence becomes a series of interesting guesses." - Bill Byrson
Leaving the states and moving literally across the world came with a lot of emotional challenges that no one can truly prepare you for.
What they never tell you is that giving your parents their last hugs would give you a physically sickening feeling. You long for one last squeeze of your shoulders as your parents clench on. You wish to have them there to help protect you from what's ahead, fearful of the potential failures.
What they never tell you is that seeing your sister utterly confused as to where her big sister was going would consume you with the most intensifying guilt that you couldn't imagine.
What they never tell you is that even as you were on the brink of boarding the plane, family members were still trying to practically spam your phone with the newest news updates on North Korea, and how that meant for certain that you were going to be obliterated by some nuclear development the second you walked off the plane.
What they never tell you is that you would travel for almost 24 hours just to land in an apartment the size of a shoe box, surrounded by absolutely nothing that could grant you even the tiniest sliver of comfort, already wishing to be home.
This is not to take away the fact that I feel unbelievably thankful for the opportunity to travel around the world and to pursue my passion for teaching. I am excited to see the challenges and growth ahead, and I look forward to each and every day that I get to walk through the doors at POLY and be apart of the children’s learning experiences.
I just wish that someone could have prepared me for this gap that I feel in my heart. My family, my fiance, and my friends have always been my rock.
For now, I get to look at the picture collage on my door and fight the tears as I see what a gift I have to be able to have something so hard to say goodbye to.
In actuality, this just further proves that what they also never tell you is that everything is going to be okay, this is a time to challenge the waters and live life to the fullest.
“Loving life is easy when yo u are abroad. Where no one knows you and you hold life in your hands all alone, you are more master of yourself than at any other time.” – Hannah Arendt
