Little did you know you would have good days and then you would have extremely bad days. That's alright thou, you as a person have nothing to be sorry about. I know your probably sitting in your bed thinking about all the things you did wrong and I know your wishing for an escape from your thoughts. I bet you thought all those doctors appointments were going to be easy and that it will all go away on it's own. The truth is nothing about depression is easy!
Here is what no one is telling you. 1) You will always have at least one person who is going to support you and hold your head up high. 2) When you look out the window only to see that it is cloudy and gloomy out, just know the sun is still shining through its own battle. 3) Just because you hit a rough patch does not mean it will always be this way. 4) Last but not least taking antidepressants does not make you weak or any less of a person.
The light inside your head will eventually turn back on and there are going to be days where it seems extremely faded. When the light seems to be fading look to your left and then to your right, someone will always be on your side. whoever that person may be make sure you tell them everyday that you appreciate them. They want you to be as happy as you can be and on the days you aren't so happy they will do anything to hear you laugh. No matter how you are effected with MDD just know that the light always comes back on.
From this point forward make yourself as happy as you can be. Dance in the rain, jump in puddles, watch as many Disney movies as you want, scream the lyrics to your favorite songs. The moment you find things you love doing is when everything seems clear.
Sincerely the girl who thinks you deserve to be happy