After a recent audition for a theater piece on my college campus, I was presented with a list of questions. Some questions were related to my past theatrical experience, several regarded my values and what I believe builds a strong community, and finally, what I see as the primary role of theater in society. I’ve chosen a few of my responses to share with you.
I started in theater when I was very young, participating in camps and taking voice lessons. I was cast in my first mainstage show in 2006 as toy/sugarplum in 'Twas the Night, a musical based off the poem. Since then I have performed in the show five times and have helped costume it once. One of my favorite memories was when I had the chance to play the cat, Sandy Claws, for the same show in 2014. It was my first time with a large part in a mainstage production, and I had wanted to play the character since I first did the show in 2006. I had one duet, one solo and some great choreography. The show ran for about four weeks with several shows per weekend. I remember loving every minute of being on stage. I enjoyed making people laugh and was happy when families approached me after the show, asking for pictures. That’s one of my favorite things about theater: when I’m able to give something to the audience through my performance.
Theater can serve many purposes (entertainment, exploration, activism, etc.), but I think the most important part of theater is education. I don’t think I’ve ever walked away from a performance without having learned something, even if it was something small. Theater can teach us about history, current events, and can confront us with issues that we may or may not face in our everyday lives. The best part is that the audience isn’t the only group that can learn from a performance. As an actor, I have learned a great deal about the world and about myself through the material I have worked on. One of the most memorable experiences was a few years ago when I was cast in a show called “I Never Saw Another Butterfly”, made up of a collection of poems written by children in concentration camps during the Holocaust. To prep for the show, we each had to do a research project and present for the rest of the cast. Once the show opened, our projects were displayed in the lobby for audience members to see as they arrived.
Another important aspect of theater is how an audience can relate to a piece (depending, of course, on whether the goal is to draw the audience in or to alienate them). A few years back, I was blessed with the opportunity to see If/Then on Broadway. The musical tells the story of Elizabeth (played by Idina Menzel), a woman who moves to New York City for a fresh start. From there the story splits in two, one choice with two possible outcomes flashing back and forth between the story of "Liz" and the story of "Beth". The show emphasizes the importance of taking risks in life, because, how can you move forward without taking chances? My favorite songs would have to be "You Learn to Live Without", "What Would You Do?" and "Love While You Can". I can relate to the show on a personal level, too, because I know that nothing is promised to you, that life is what you make of it. I'm not trying to sound like I have everything figured out, because I don’t. But that's the point, isn't it? You never know.
One of the questions I’ve always had trouble answering is, “What makes you a unique artist?” I have yet to be able to give a response summing up to anything other than, “I don’t know." I’ve experienced hardship, although I think it would be silly to argue that that makes me a unique artist because I don’t know a single artist who hasn’t. If I’m being very honest, I think I’m still figuring out what makes me a unique. When I was younger, theater served as an outlet for feelings that I couldn’t find other ways to express. After high school, I had to walk away from theater for a while to spend time working through some issues I’d neglected to address. It hasn’t been easy finding my way back. My initial fear was that through experiencing the emotions of a character I would lose control of my own, so I spent time working behind the scenes and distanced myself from the stage. In doing so, I began to forget why I grew to love theater in the first place. I miss the freedom to express difficult emotions without hiding behind closed doors. I miss that feeling when you’re alone on stage with the lights shining on your face, when you can’t see the audience and for that moment it’s just you. I enjoyed working behind the scenes, but found it lonely. I was happiest when I balanced my time onstage and offstage or when I agreed to tasks that involved close collaboration with others.
Someday I hope to be able to answer some of these questions in more detail. For now, I’ll keep trying to embrace whatever journey I’m supposed to on. In the meantime, I’ll learn, train, travel, try new things, succeed, fail, fall and get my heart broken, knowing that every new experience teaches me one more thing about life. Something I might never have learned if I didn’t take chances.
