This is probably the toughest love language to justify, but unfairly so. Many people will simply see this love language as selfishness or materialism but it is not always the case. For people that have this love language, receiving gifts is a way for them to understand and truly believe that the love is thoughtful and true. Some people need the visible symbols of love to feel the connection between themselves and their partner.
Receiving gifts is the love language for people that feel cared for and provided with another person’s energy. What I mean is that we highly appreciate the energy in the giver’s thoughts behind the gift. To us, when we receive a gift we think: “ Oh my, this person must really have thought about me and what I like. This person is making the effort to think like I do because we are in a serious, monogamous relationship. This person loves me because this is physical proof that he is thinking about me, and is not afraid to put his feelings for me above his wallet. How kind of him to show me that he puts me above himself, what a considerate, thoughtful, and romantic gentleman”.
These gifts do not have to be expensive. They are not supposed to be thought of just as price tags. If so, you just have a gold digger. The higher the cost, does not mean the higher the appreciation. Stating this, a balloon can be more precious to me than a purse. It depends on the context. The more “surprising” and meaningful, the more it will be remembered. Of course quality is helpful, but in reality it just needs to catch us off guard to be precious.
For more considerate individuals, this is often a touchy subject. We don’t like to demand for gifts. The more natural the gift was given (as in the giver was not asked to, or hinted for, or begged), the more appreciative and loved we feel. We feel the thoughts of the giver through the act of receiving (similar to how some animals are attracted to partners that provide a token of affection). For people like me who have this love language as important, it will be hard for you to be in relationships where this is not understood or considered for. Continuous neglect with tokens of affections will cause for a rough relationship as both people will not able to express and understand love in the same manner.
If your significant other is not good at gifting, it will be very hard for you. There is nothing wrong with us to feel a disconnect in the relationship if it is not met. If neglected for too long, we will think and feel as if we are not beautiful or worthy enough. For me, I thought that maybe I didn’t deserve these things because I am not beautiful, feminine, or lovely enough. I hated to think this way, but it is a genuine feeling that was and is hard to overcome. For people that place great appreciation in this love language, it is very hard to explain just as it is hard to be understood.
We value people that realize and accept this about us. The people that make the effort to understand how we actually feel, or feel the same way we do are the best partners for us because there is a level of mutual connection and understanding. Gold diggers are not who we are, and we hate to be compared to it because it is not who we are. We are people that understand love through unspoken physical representations of thoughts. We do not demand or beg, we just wish and hope. We hope for our partners to express themselves spontaneously, and naturally with loving thoughts.
Don’t judge us in the wrong way. You will know if you have a gold digger or a neglected loved one. Remember, it is hard for us to discuss as we want it as naturally as possible. We need your expressions of love to be from your own will.
