Dating in college has never been easy, but with the variety of apps and being able to text with emojis, it has become nearly impossible. Being in my fourth year of college, I have learned a thing or two about dating and how it works. I have met and talked to a couple of guys but they all end in the same way; they leave when they do not get what they want.

You meet a cute guy and maybe want it to be more, so you decide to show interest and put in some effort. In reality, you spend more time having to decipher his texts, Snapchats, etc., than you do on going on dates with him. Nothing is more frustrating than the long “talking phase” that just leaves you wondering about where you both stand. You want to understand how he feels about you but you do not want to annoy the guy. So, you send your friends a couple of screenshots and even they cannot tell you how he feels. Are you supposed to think they are interested in you because they sent some kissing emoji with a couple drops of water behind it? Because they Snapchat you and have some 5-minute conversation? Because they text you at 10 or 11 at night to hang out? Because they grab you to dance at some frat party? Or better yet, because they liked your Instagram picture (and everyone else’s)? But that’s what flirting has come to, so of course you begin to think that they are interested. You think some kind of attention is better than none.

What I learned about that “talking phase” is that it is just an introduction for a hookup to happen, which is really what a lot of guys only want in college. They flirt with you over the phone, using text or some app, and take you on a date, or two, if you are lucky. They get you to like them enough that you would want to hook up with them, and once you allow it or say no, they are gone. If you text them after hooking up (or not hooking up), they most likely will not respond. They have no reason to continue talking to you. Of course you get upset and begin to ask yourself what happened and what you did for him to cut you off like that. It makes you want to text him even more. As much as you want answers so that you can understand, you will not get them. Just remember that you are beautiful and that it was never anything you did.

We live in a generation where dating is showing too much feeling, caring is not cool and being with one person is overrated. As tempting it can be, do not fall in the trap and settle for those guys. Remember your worth and values and know that you will find someone who calls you, takes you out, does not make you question their feelings and intentions and is not afraid to commit to you.