It is a challenge when the holidays come around, and everyone is sitting by the fire with their family, and you are alone.
This is going to be my first holiday season without celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas with both of my parents. It was not until recently that my parents decided it was for the best that they separate. Do not get me wrong it was for the best, they were constantly fighting and I could tell that they were no longer in love with each other, they were just roommates at that point.
Despite knowing that it was for the best, I can't help wishing that they could have sucked it up and continued living together and keep our family whole; is that selfish of me? I have been away for college for the last few month so the impact of them being separated has not yet seeped in, however, my nerves are starting to rise the closer we get to winter break. I am going to be home for more than a month, I have no idea whose house I will be staying at or what it is going to be like. I just want to escape to a different county and forget about all the family problems at home.
It is especially around the holiday season that I have started reminiscing about Thanksgivings and Christmas past. I wish that time could reverse when I was a little girl and Christmas morning still had that magical feeling. I have no idea what it is going to feel like now: sad, depressing, like it is missing a crucial piece?
A broken family is already so difficult to deal with emotionally. Every child is stuck in the middle and they are forced to pick who they wish to spend their time with, mom or dad. The holidays are supposed to be a carefree period where the family can be together, sipping on hot chocolate, cuddling on the couch, watching Charlie Brown's Christmas. But it is important to acknowledge that every year people go through the holidays and come out on the other side with a smile on their face. No matter what it is important to remember that your family still loves you and they are there for you no matter what even if they are living in different homes. When people say you are lucky for having divorced or separated parents because you get two of everything, just ignore them. They do not understand, and most likely never will understand the emotional hardships you have been through. It is sometimes a challenge just to fake a smile, but no matter what you still have your friends, sibling, and other family members you are there for you to cheer you up and get you through the few months.
