Can we all agree how awfully scary and courageous it is to fall in love?
You can't help but feel vulnerable, yet hopefully expectant of what might be to come. You're bright-eyed, seeing the stars shine more brilliantly. The cold air becomes crisper. The sorrow of any past flames, sparks or steady fires turns to dust.
It's a terrible feeling knowing that it might not work out. Knowing you've opened your heart to someone who could simply shut the doors and leave the key for you to give away again and again. For you to appoint a new gate-keeper to your heart because they couldn't guard it for you.
You have too many thoughts swimming in your puddle of a mind. You remember all the past relationships and what parts of those flourished. You remember the way past loves held your hand. Calmed your chaos. How they made the world melt away and it was just you and them.
Along with all the pleasantries of a relationship, you remember the nightmares. You remember the fights, the screaming, the ignorances. The sh*t you put up with that looking back at now, you have no idea how you did it at all.
You hope this one, the one who has started swallowing your heart, will be better than the ones before him. You find yourself getting giddy again, falling for someone new. You're scared to death, but can't wait to (hopefully) get to know them completely. Learn what they're afraid of. What they love. What drives them wild.
Most important of all, you can't wait for them to get to know you.
