There's a lot of talk about feminism and empowering women these days, and we keep discussing that we need strong female role models. But more often than not, when they get put in headlines, movies, or books, they end up being some kind of stereotype, or some kind of reduced version of a human being. She's smart, and that makes her strong. She's strong, and that makes her strong. She's emotionless, and that makes her strong. What actually makes a strong female role model? What does a strong woman look like?
As I've said, there are countless different images of strong women floating around, and of course, many of them are, to some degree, right. The problem is not that there's a specific image of the ideal "strong woman," the problem is that we're reducing a woman to the adjective "strong." "Strong" is the highest goal, but strength, as a person, is so closely connected to identity that if a woman doesn't know who she is, then it's going to be really hard for her to be strong. She'll cave in on herself because she doesn't know who she actually is.
The strongest women I've ever met, and the strongest women I've ever identified, have had deep knowledge of who they are as people. Their identity is not "strong," it's the great complexity of their identities that makes them strong.
I think of Dagny Taggart when I think of a strong woman. She's incredibly intelligent, fierce, and she knows what she wants. Yet, she's still feminine. She doesn't sacrifice her femininity for the sake of "strength" because she knows her femininity is part of what makes her strong. She knows who she is. She knows she's smart. She knows she's the best. She's strong because she embraces herself.
I think of my mama, who is daily getting stronger because she is daily discovering more and more of the person God created her to be. She's graceful, feminine, gentle, kind, and so loving. And she's strong because she never denies her tears. Any kind of strength I have learned, I have learned from her.
I think of my sister, who is strong because she's fierce, witty, smart, beautiful, and great at managing things. She's strong because she knows who she is. She knows her strength, she knows her weakness. She will tell you all about her strengths, and you'll smile.
You'll probably think of something else when you think of a strong woman, but the point is that there is no specific image of a strong woman. Any woman can be a strong woman so long as she knows and embraces who she is as a person. When you know who you are, there's a kind of uncompromising integrity about you. That's why identity comes before strength, and why any sort of true identity can become strong. A facade will break when pressed upon, but a woman who knows herself (and all her quirks, strengths, weakness, idiosyncrasies, all those things that cannot be simply listed, all those things that make up a human person) will stand firm. Don't tell your daughter to be strong, let her know she is strong.
