“Excuse me ma’am, can I help you with your bags?" said the good-looking stranger. I had to raise my sunglasses to make sure my eyes were being candid, only to be blinded by the sun. Wow, I have never seen such beautiful scenery! “No sir, I have a driver waiting, but you can pinch me” I replied sarcastically. We carried on a few more moments of casual conversation until my phone rang and it was my driver. As I walked further outside and towards the car, the warm sun comforted my body and I immediately felt free. Palm trees and fruit on the ground; I was tempted to pick one up and take a juicy bite. I hopped in the van and we pulled off.
The ride was bumpy, but I had no complaints. Potholes filled the streets. Children in uniforms laughed and ran along the beat up sidewalk. Panhandlers hold signs up to tourists as they rush by avoiding eye contact. Bars after bars with the same type of music and people standing outside in huddles smoking cigarettes, and what my mother calls “funny cigarettes”. Cars running traffic lights and stopping for full conversations in the middle of traffic. Horns honking, some friendly and others down right furious. The smell of curry and salt water creating a surprising mixture of a pleasant odor. Shops after shops with outrageous prices and in the distant a sound of multiple bullets being fired. Still I am not phased and am excited about my new home.
We arrive through the beautiful gates of Emerald Beach Hotels. The driver parks underneath an overbearing sign that reads, “Welcome to St. Thomas, Virgin Islands”. The driver collects my money and smiles before saying enjoy your vacation and welcome to paradise. I inform him that I will be moving into an apartment on the first of the month. He then chuckles and says, “Well then, welcome to the real island”.
St. Thomas, Virgin Islands is a huge tourist destination hosting 4-5 Cruise ships a week during the on-season: November through May. Tens of thousands of people come and enjoy the island each week and many of the locals depend on that tourism to keep them afloat economically. The destinations, treatment and schedule of a tourist is much more different than that of the local residents. Tourists are treated very well as they are a very important part of the community. Negative treatment towards tourists is looked down upon, discouraged, and let’s face it, you will end up in jail. Don’t try it!
Coming from a person who moved to St. Thomas without ever having been there, or knowing anyone who ever has, or even doing any research, you could definitely classify my first week there as a vacation. I explored, and had a blast, but that quickly changed once I settled in as a resident.
In July of 2012, days after my 22nd birthday, I decided moving to an American Island would be just the right amount of different without going into a complete culture shock. I was living in a large Somali community in Minneapolis, Minnesota and I was happy to be a minority for a change in terms of ethnicity - ready to soak up some new culture. As a middle child, I was very self-sufficient and independent, but some things I wish I’d known.
Unfortunately, you won’t find those things on trip advisor. These tips are for the many adventurist people who go for a vacation and stay to work the bar circuit because they can’t keep a job due to their new or suppressed drinking problem you will surely express while in the V.I. For those who were recruited to sell jewelry in the diamond district but stayed for the cheap cocaine. For those who have criminal history in the states but are welcome to practice their petty crimes as long as the victims are not TOURISTS; they are precious. Or for the rebellious, small town girl like myself that came for an education in the most unconventional way.
1. Ask for local prices.
I once hopped in a cab that quoted me an outrageous amount to get me from “town” to “red hook”. I then explained to him that I lived on the “north side” and was a local. The price was reduced to a third of the original price.
2. Do not pay for beach chairs unless.....
Many beaches do charge for beach chairs and they are guarded by a guy with the company logo on. Other beaches provide free beach chairs. Don’t let the inebriated unemployed dread threaten you. He is going to use your money for a Guinness, fish, and weed.
3. Don't get upset when you receive bad service.
Haha, you thought the customer service you received the first week was genuine? Nope, it is exclusively for tourists. They are precious. Don’t take it personally when the shop owner you patron daily rolls her eyes and never says thank you.
4. Forget about 911.
The police will reluctantly respond to your call two hours after they finish lunch and drop off their children. They will take a report and it will be ready in less than a year if you are lucky. The uniform is for respect and the patrol car is for transportation. Unless you are a tourist, then they will respond accordingly, because you are precious.
5. Find a last name you can associate with.
Nepotism is shamelessly exercised and consequences are only applied to those with unfamiliar last names. I often screamed “I’s a Brian” as I ran red lights and made illegal U turns. I never received a ticket.
6. Know who you are talking with.
It is a small island and you will likely see everyone more often than you prefer. Get a biography on everyone you meet. You can get one in 2 minutes and you can get an accurate one in 20 minutes.
7. Always be nice to the chicken guy.
The Dominican guy selling chicken out of a truck will knock your socks off. Best chicken ever. He does not take any shit! Just like Jerry Seinfeld, you can be easily banned for life: “NO SOUP FOR YOU”.
8. Don’t over tip the bartender.
They are not over pouring because of your generosity, it's to save cranberry juice. Alcohol and cigarettes are very cheap - juice and everything else is not.
9.Don’t frivolously give out cigarettes.
If you give someone a cigarette you are now responsible for their habit every time you see them. Every time.
10. Do not adopt the local accent.
Do not do it, you will sound like an idiot.
11. Don’t fret when you hear a gun fire.
A gun being fired does not necessarily mean violence. Unless it is carnival time, several people are probably dead.
12. Horn honking is a language.
One fast honk means, “hi”. One long honk mean “move”. Two honks mean “be careful” Two long honks mean, “I am not going to move, go around me”. That is just the basic level, there is more.
There is certainly much more I could tell you, but I know you will have more fun discovering it on your own. No need for a passport, grab your ID and your best drinking buddy and enjoy St. Thomas, Virgin Islands.
