Until you have gone through sorority recruitment, you will never fully understand it; and even once you’ve gone through it, you still may not understand it. When I signed up for fall recruitment, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I was the first woman in my family to rush a sorority in college.

As I sat in my orientation meeting, they threw out a bunch of terms I had never heard before, explained the process and told us what we should expect. I kept all that information fresh in my mind as I went into my First Datebook, otherwise known as the first day of rush. It was a twelve-hour day that consisted of all the potential new members going to all the chapters, meeting their active members, conversing, listening to their chants, watching slide shows, all while trying to see if that house was a good fit for them. At the end that day, we had to decide where we wanted to go back to the next day. While I was voting, I thought long and hard about what I wanted in a sorority. I didn’t want the one with the prettiest house, or the best “party” reputation, although those things are fun, I wanted a house that felt like home.

Realizing that made voting so much easier. After I realized what I wanted in a house, I started to think about what I could offer the houses themselves. I carried forward in my days, aiming to find the house that would make me into a better woman, and a house that I could better by being myself. Every day had a different theme, and every day you returned to less houses than the day before.

Rushing is supposed to be a “mutual selection process,” meaning that while you select the houses you see yourself best fit at, the houses also select who they invite back by who they think would add the most to their house. Each morning, as I got a shorter list of houses to return to, I thought to myself: What qualities does this house possess? Do I feel comfortable with the girls in that chapter? Can I see myself joining this sisterhood? Although those questions may seem silly to someone who has not gone through the process, they are huge questions for those who have.

When going through sorority recruitment, you have to think about what is in your best interest. They say you get a “feeling” when you know which house is the one for you, personally, I did get that feeling. My feeling came at Preference Night, when I looked around me and saw strong, unique and genuine individuals that loved each other for the purest version of themselves. I got that feeling, because the women I spoke with made me realize that I was strong, unique and genuine, just like all of them. Sometimes, we forget to pick out the best qualities in ourselves, thankfully, going through the stressful process of sorority recruitment reminded me of who I am. Not only did I get to be reminded of that during rush, but the house that gave me that feeling is now my home and they remind me of the best things about myself every day.