Last weekend, my sorority had its annual sisterhood retreat, a long-awaited spring tradition where littles present their bigs with beautifully crafted paddles, members start prepping for formal fall recruitment, and, above all, our house becomes even more bonded in love and sisterhood. During one of the panels, we arrived at the topic of what it means to be in a sorority— to be a sorority girl. As we moved on to the next discussion, I found myself still trying to answer this question: What is a sorority girl? Over the last week, I’ve thought quite a bit about this question, and I’ve finally come to many conclusions.

What is a sorority girl? The first image that comes to mind is a beautiful girl adorned in pastels, a bright smile on her face, posing with her closest sisters. It’s a girl frivolously blowing glitter into the camera, making such a simple action look graceful and effortless. Big princess curls, hot pink dresses, cork wedges— this is just the image my mind projects. I know we sorority girls are much more than a pretty face, but so often we find this stereotype stigmatized, as if being confident, beautiful, and happy is a bad thing. A sorority girl is not merely defined by the letters she wears, but by what she accomplishes wearing them. I know girls who pay housing and chapter dues out of their own pockets—on top of paying for college tuition—, girls who volunteer at hospitals and assisted living homes, girls who, out of hundreds of other applicants, are selected for advanced research positions at our university, girls who are unafraid to speak up and make a change about issues of sexual assault, racism, and gender discrimination across campus and the Greek community. I know all these girls, and they are part of my sorority.

Some might say that you don’t have to be a “sorority girl” to accomplish all these goals— and they’re right. It’s not the letters that make the girl, it’s the meaning behind them that drive her to do amazing things. Being a sorority girl means having a chapter of over 100 girls who constantly inspire and encourage you to be your very best. The difference in being a sorority girl is that we are given the opportunity to surround ourselves with greatness, with the tools to achieve greatness. While it all seems very cheesy—all the typical bubbly promotion videos and Instagram posts, all the “throw what you know” photos, all the social events and philanthropies—, behind it lies a cause greater than anyone could imagine. We are building ourselves up for the future, and our fellow sorority girls are empowering us every day to build better and higher.

So, what is a sorority girl? To me, she is everything. She is everything I didn’t know I wanted until I finally could be her. To me, she is much, much more than a sorority “girl”, she is—now and forever— a sorority woman.

Image Credit: Melissa Estabrook