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Christmas

What Does Santa Want for Christmas? 5 Presents on His Wish List

Santa is really hard to buy a gift for.

Brent Mitchell Wiggins

Dec 21, 2023

Orlando, Florida

77887

Santa, Mrs Claus and elves with a pile of wrapped Christmas presents

Mike Arney

1. Gap years.

Santa wearing sunglasses reclining on a deckchair on the beach

Santa gets to travel across the world but only in one night. Think of all the local hot spots and destinations he is missing out on. It is unfair that he has to deliver billions of presents while the rest of the world enjoys their vacation time.

We all could chip in and give Santa an extended holiday leave. Parents can just tell their kids he had to rush order their presents this year. And the year after that, and the year after that...

It is about time Santa got out of his boots and into some sandals. He does not do timeshares either.

2. Real food.

Santa at a table with a traditional Christmas dinner and a glass of wine

It was cute the first few times around, but does it have to be the same thing every year? Santa is a sweet and jolly man plenty enough on his own.

He doesn't need another candy cane, chocolate chip cookie, or glass of milk to keep the holiday cheer going. If anything, he is bound to have another sugar crash.

That's what caused the infamous Sleigh Crash of 1964. Ditch the dairy and baked goods, and give Santa a plate of your Christmas meal.

3. Money.

Santa sat at a desk surround by lots of cash

You thought Santa spent all of December up at the North Pole? He has an incredible side hustle, working grocery stores with his bell for the Salvation Army.

The worst gig of all is staging his workshop in every mall he goes to. Santa is a full-time toymaker and a part-time socialite. You know Santa is overqualified and he deserves what he is worth.

It is the season of giving, so give Santa his trillion dollar annual salary already.

4. Workshops around the world.

Santa standing in his workshop surrounded by lots of wooden toys

Why does Santa have to make all the world's gifts and toys from one workshop? Christmas magic can only to take our indomitable bearded friend so far.

He needs workshops in every country, that way he does not have to fly everywhere and everything at once. He will be closer to those who asked for gifts and spend more time out of his natural environment.

If Santa cannot stop working, give him something more and something better to work with.

5. Shorter lists.

Santa is not suggesting a decrease in population here. He just wants everyone to be nice instead of naughty. The gifts are enough to carry without that coal weighing him down.

He is also tired of hearing the reasons why you were naughty this year. It is breaking his gumdrop heart. Santa should not have to bribe you with presents or punish you with coal.

The greatest gift you can give Santa is kindness.

Santa is not that picky when it comes to gifts. Do the right thing, and he promises there will not be any coal in your stocking this year.

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What Does Santa Want for Christmas? 5 Presents on His Wish List

Santa is really hard to buy a gift for.

In This Article:

1. Gap years.

2. Real food.

3. Money.

4. Workshops around the world.

5. Shorter lists.

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It's not all morning coffees and singing along to the radio.

You can't just go to your room to take a nap in the middle of your classes.

Having to spend all your extra cash on gas for your car.

Speaking of money, you probably don't have a meal plan so you're forced to scrounge up some change or mooch off of your friends.

It can be harder to maintain the friendships you make with people from class.

Finding a parking spot.

It can be harder to be involved on campus because between your one, two, or three jobs and school you don't have much free time.

When you try to be super involved on campus, it can kill your sleep schedule.

It's impossible to do homework at home, but staying on campus isn't an option sometimes.

There are surveys and events that you can't participate in because you're a commuter.

Group projects are the bane of your existence.

Traffic.

Your backpack rivals that of a survivalist trekking in the woods.

Driving all the way to campus to find a note on the door of your classroom saying class was cancelled.

Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

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