1. "Oh, it won't scan? Lucky me, it must be free!"
Like we've never heard this one before! We only pretend to smile and laugh with you, but we've heard this at least five times throughout the rest of the shift. It's not funny now, it will never be funny!
2. "Do you know if there are any sales on these things?" *Guest points at all of the things in their shopping cart*
The sales flier changes every single week, so if you think I can keep track of the 64 items you have, and all of their constantly changing sale prices, then think again lady. Odds are you get sent fliers in your mail weekly, they get sent with the Sunday paper, or ,surprise, the sales are advertised throughout the store! Use that big ole' brain of yours and look!
3. "Why can't you accept my coupons? *ignores the fact that they are expired*"
Expired means expired people. We don't care if it's a week or day, that's just the way it works.
4. "Can I speak with the manager?"
You surely can, but they're about to tell you the same exact thing I did, they just have the words "manager" at the end of their name plate.
5. "Excuse me, do you work here?"
Did my red shirt and khaki pants or name tag not give that away? It's not every day I dress like this, people.
6. "The sign said *insert any item here* is 20 cents less than this!"
Hello, yes, I am just a cashier, I do not control the prices of items in the store, I understand that every penny counts, but please use your eyeballs and READ THE SIGNS. If it's not ringing up at your price in the system, odds are you read the sign wrong, it's for the smaller pack or a different pack of the item entirely. I can not change the price no matter how much you'd like me to.
7. "Oh here, let me get my money for you." *Pulls money out of bra, pants or shoe*
This is one of the grossest things you could do to a retail worker. Not only do we have to suppress our want to gag, but we also have to handle your sweaty boob money now. Please just keep it in your purse or something...
8. "Do you have more in the back?"
No, nope, no no no! We don't, we never do. If you send me to the back to look regardless of what I told you, I will have spent that time replying to texts or eating a snack. Just believe me, please.
9. "I'm never shopping here again!"
Well, if you say so, go right ahead. I won't be missing your attitude, guests like you make working retail a nightmare and we'll be glad to never do business with you again! I see hundreds of guests per day, you will not be missed.
At the end of the day, we are all thankful for our jobs, but you have to remember that everyone with a job is a person, too. We have feelings too, and we deserve to be treated with the same respect we give you as a guest. Remember that a "thank you," and a smile can go a loooong way. Thank you for shopping with us, have a great day.
