I thought I knew exactly what it would be like moving back home. I thought I had it all figured out. I figured that it would be easy to just pick things up where I left off at home and that it would be easy to get back to living with my parents full-time again.

Silly me.

It’s easy enough to feel like you’ve got it all figured out in life. Yet here I am at 20 years old, sitting in the basement of the house I grew up in, more confused than I’ve ever been. I guess that’s why I’m here.

No number of reassuring stories or pep talks could compare to the real-life experience of moving back home with your parents after a year and a half of college.

At first, it’s really nice. Your parents are ecstatic to have you back home and everyone welcomes you back with open arms. You get your own room, your own shower and home-cooked meals instead of ramen or cafeteria food. You don’t have to worry about getting written up for talking in the bathroom during quiet hours or people using the hand dryers while you’re trying to sleep.

But at the same time–there’s no one to talk to in the bathroom anymore. The only people you can see that are within reasonable walking distance are your parents. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents but it’s not the same as being surrounded by friends your age. Most of the friends who lived near you are still at their own colleges and many are in different states or studying abroad so there’s not much left of what you used to know as far as friends go. You’ve gotta go through the process of making friends all over again.

On my first day of classes at the community college I transferred to, to my surprise I felt like that freaked out freshman all over again. I worried about where I should sit and who would fill the spots next to me. Do I say something? Should I ask them their name or wait for them to speak first? Where the heck is my room? Why am I walking down this hallway? It’s fine, just stay cool, you’re definitely not lost, this school is so small.

Those were all the thoughts I had and they felt so silly.

But a transition is still a transition, even if you’re just going back to a place that you grew up in. A new school is still a new school even if it’s just a community college and you can still have your confidence shaken despite feeling like a pro with multiple semesters of college under your belt.

You have to go back to reporting your whereabouts to your parents, which is easier said than done after experiencing the freedom that college provides. You’re generally expected to help around the house, attend family dinners and take care of other responsibilities you had once set aside.

The familiar will feel strange again for a bit and it’s not as seamless of a transition as you thought it would be. But don’t be too hard on yourself.

Hug your parents, find the smiling face in a classroom full of blank ones and let yourself feel everything because your feelings are valid.

You will be okay.