There are fewer than 20,000 cases of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis in the United States. I was in the seventh grade when my grandfather was diagnosed.
“Don’t google it,” said the doctor, “It will scare you..”
I googled it. This is what I found out.. ALS was going to kill my grandfather. That is, after it took away everything he had. ALS, also called Lou Gehrig's Disease, is a neurodegenerative disease that attacks the nerve cells that send messages to the spinal chord to tell the muscles to move.
“You have 2-4 years, depending on your particular case. The disease is different for everyone.”
First, it was his legs. It was a struggle for my family and I to watch his strong legs hesitate to do the thing that was so easy for us to do.. walk. His legs slowly deteriorated until they were completely paralyzed, and he was put in a wheelchair. He controlled the electric chair with his hands-- until those too, were affected by the disease. My grandmother fed him every meal. He could no longer pick up or hold my baby cousins. He couldn’t even scratch his own nose. He couldn’t do anything for himself. Through this disease, he lost many things that meant the world to him, but he gained things that meant the world to me. These things made me who I am today.
He was brave. Not the “hey, I’m going to go skydiving brave.” It was the kind of brave that one acquires when they have no other choice. WOW!! He wasn’t afraid of a disease, and I was afraid to take a geometry test. He was never afraid of tomorrow. I used to worry about tomorrow all the time.. but not anymore. My grandfather showed me that everyday is truly a gift-- so live for that-- today. And to go into each day courageously. “Seize the day” is now something that I live by. Because of my pawpaw, I cherish each moment instead of letting the troubles of the future take away my now.
Not only was he brave, but he had incredible endurance. Even when things were supposed to be impossible, he never lost his hope. He kept doing the things that he loved, like hunting and fishing. After he was put in a wheelchair, he invented a lift that would put him in a boat, and he made a fishing pole holder to go on the side of his chair. Being out in the ocean with a few of his friends was what he loved about it most anyway. When he wanted to go hunting, he made my dad tie him in a tree stand and then get him down when he was done. He never stopped doing the things he loved, even when the odds were definitely against him. This motivates me daily to stick to doing what I love, no matter what. Why? Because my grandfather was stripped of the ability to do the things he loved. I have a new appreciation for the things that I am passionate about because I know that they could be taken from me at any time.
Through this disease, he also gained a beautiful faith. He leaned on the Lord with a trust that was unwavering. God was one thing in His life that always stayed the same. When his legs could no longer walk, God was still God. When he could no longer wave or shake hands, God was still God. When he could no longer speak clearly, God was still God. That’s why I know that today... God is still God. He was, and is, and always will be. My grandfather taught me that when my world is falling apart, God will always be there to put it back together. God was my grandfather’s rock, and every day I am reminded to keep my faith in that same solid foundation.
Watching my grandfather fight the battle with such grace and tenacity was inspiring. When I was in the ninth grade, the disease took his life. Though it was hands down the hardest thing I ever went through, I am thankful for the ways that it affected me as a person. I think about the way he lived his life every single day, and strive to be half the person he was. I chose to find the beauty in the brokenness of this situation, and because of it, I am a better person.