I’m sure everyone has been exposed to stereotypes in their lifetimes. Maybe you can’t drive because you’re female. Maybe you’re good at math because you’re Asian. Maybe you’re a nerd because you wear glasses. Maybe you’re all these things because you’re me and you’ve done nothing to disprove these assumptions.
In order to dispel some other rumors and answer a few questions, I’ve made a quick list of things you shouldn’t say to your Asian friends.
“No, where are you REALLY from?”
Legend has it that I floated from the Heavens atop a wild swan.
“What’s 13432.23 times 2343?”
Don’t be a hater, get a calculator.
Not all calculators are Asian, but all Asians are calculators.
“What kind of Asian are you?”
“Are you Chinese or Asian?”
Asking this question at all is fairly annoying, just because it seems to be the first thing everyone will ask me when we meet. The proper way to ask this question is, “What is your ethnicity?” Also, Chinese is a nationality or ethnicity, Asian is a race.
On technical terms, these are blurred lines. Race is a debated term. Are we as a species or a race? Or are there many, many racial groups? On most standardized applications and forms, I fill the Asian/Pacific Islander bubble so I’ll leave it at that.
“Do you watch [insert anime here]?”
That’s Japanese, and no.
I did play Pokémon, however. MY TEAM WILL CRUSH YOU.
Just kidding, I suck.
“I love Asian Culture! I like Chinese food, and I’m thinking of becoming Buddhist.”
Can we all stop being surprised that I don’t like Chinese food and that I don’t drag a rickshaw to school?
Or why do people ask me about Chinese culture? Admittedly, I should learn more about Chinese culture and history. I did take World History AP in high school, so I pretty much know everything. I’ll summarize it like this: China built a wall, started the Silk Road, and invented a lot of stuff. Then communism.
I’d flesh out the details, but you probably wouldn’t understand. Unless you’re Chinese, which automatically makes you an expert like myself.
“I’ve never hooked up with an Asian before.”
We’re not gonna start now.
This is why I don’t give my number out to strangers.
“You’re so exotic. I’m really attracted to Oriental women.”
Please don’t describe me with the same adjectives you’d use to describe a rug. Don’t talk about your Asian fetish. Yellow fever will not make me like you more.
But thanks. I understand you’re attempting to compliment me. I’d give you my phone number, but it’ll be the phone number of a random Asian nail salon, since you probably won’t know the difference.
A preference for Asian women might be just a preference, but some men express interest in Asian women because of a culturally stereotyped tendency toward subservience. I don’t really see this in my own generation, so many visitors to Asiandate.com will be sorely disappointed.
“You’re hot…for an Asian.”
And you’re smart…for a talking monkey.
“Have you met your real parents?”
This one’s only for us adopted kids!
If you mean biological parents, I probably met one or both of them when I was born, but since I have no memory of that, I guess I’d go with…no, no I haven’t.
My real parents are my parents who raised me and spent all their money on me. I have met them many times. More than I’d like to…hahaha…just kidding, Mom.
“How’d you get here? Did your parents put you in a box, throw some rice in there, and then float you down the Yangtze River?”
No, I told you before. I rode a wild swan down from the Heavens.
Photographic evidence.
Allow me to take a moment to talk about adoption and their frequently mentioned One Child policy. China was very overpopulated, and by 1980 the One Child policy was introduced in order to keep population manageable. When you’re limited to just one kid, you gotta make sure that you maximize profit with a son (sons would stay with the family and care for the old parents). As a result of the One Child policy, thousands and thousands of baby girls and special needs babies were abandoned, often in public places so that they may be found and put into the adoption system. International adoption was opened up in order to offset the huge rise in orphans.
That’s really sad, but through a chain of crazy odds and chances, I ended up here writing this article.
“Aren’t you supposed to be smart?”
I guess so. In the same way all non-Asians are supposed to be dumb by comparison.
Whether this stereotype has merit has been largely debated. Intelligence has always had a shaky measurement system. Whether a particular race does well at a standardized test is largely due to cultural environment and education systems. Immigrants put more pressure on academic success, accounting for the deviation in scores.
“Can you see as well as everyone else?”
How would I know? Now get out of my limited sight.
Field of vision is not dependent upon eye shape. Even if you were to cover part of the iris, it would only control the amount of light entering the eye.
Personally, I have terrible vision, but it’s unrelated to race and more likely because I played the aforementioned Pokémon on my Gameboy as a child. Or maybe because I stared at the sun too long.
Insisting that we need to retake a picture because my eyes were closed.
I’m talking to you, mom.
“I don’t believe in interracial relationships.”
Ok, let me dump my Wonder bread white boyfriend right away!
No. I mean, this isn’t Asian specific. I think everyone should be able to date or marry whoever they want, regardless of race (or gender). It’s 2015, why do people still say that?
“Do you know [insert fellow Asian here]?”
Asians don’t all know each other. I’m personally not part of the Asian community per se because my parents don’t own a nail salon or dry cleaners. So I got kicked.
Actually people seek out people with similar cultures and interests to befriend. That explains why Asians will often be friends with other Asians and why nerds befriend other nerds.
“You look like [insert fellow Asian here].”
When my little white cousins can’t tell me and my sister apart.
Asians all look the same because we are all the same person. We are small and nimble and can move quickly enough that you will not notice us moving and we appear to be in many places at once.
Although it is fairly ignorant and rude to point out, it is explained by the Cross-Race Effect. The Cross-Race Effect occurs when a person has not been exposed to a certain race; therefore, it is difficult to distinguish between individuals. White infants distinguish between individuals using hair color, whereas Asian children may use face shape, explaining why white children find Asians to appear similar. If an individual is exposed to many races during formative years, the Cross-Race effect is minimized.
In conclusion…
Don’t assume Asians do karate or that Mexicans love tacos…although I’m pretty sure everyone loves tacos.
