Infertility is more common than you'd imagine. Between 10 to 15 percent of couples in the U.S. have infertility issues. Infertility is defined by the Mayo Clinic as "not being able to get pregnant despite having frequent, unprotected sex for at least a year for most couples."

Infertility is the result of any number of factors, including PCOS (in my case) or endometriosis. Sometimes, the infertility may be found in the male or the female partner, or the cause of infertility may be unknown. Infertility may also cause miscarriages or tubal pregnancies. As a young married student with infertility, here are some things that I, and my peers, are tired of hearing.

1. "Use Protection!"

I recognize that safe sex is important. By all means, if you are sexually active and do not want a child, use protection. But telling *every* 20-something to not get pregnant is actually insulting. Lumped in here would be any unwanted sex advice or perverted comments. If I want your advice, I will ask you. Until then, let's skip the awkwardness, mmmk?

2. "But you're so young..."

Yes, I'm young. I'm 21 years old in chronological age, but I'm really, like, 26 years old. I may still be getting an education, but I'm otherwise settled down. Age isn't just chronological. There are some really irresponsible Baby Boomers, and there are some really mature people my age.

Besides, infertility usually limits your biological clock. It takes some infertile couples seven or more years to have a child who is carried to full term. It's not impossible to have a child sooner, but I'd rather start now. I know women who have had children at age 15 and other women who have been over the age of 40 when they had a child. Being a good mother isn't contingent on age, but rather how you take care of your child.

3. "You want to finish school first!"

Plenty of student parents, including my own mother, have proven that it is possible to excel in school while raising children. There is some truth that going to school full time with a child is hard. However, many schools and communities have resources to help you succeed. For example, my school has a Students With Children group.

Besides, if you want to continue schooling beyond your baccalaureate degree, you'll tack on at least a few more child-bearing years. I'm not going to put either my goal of an M. Div. nor my dreams of a family on hold.

4. "A baby would ruin your marriage!"

I really had a professor tell me this. Every relationship is different. While kids will cause stress to you and your partner, so does infertility. Heck, marriages, in general, have a lot of stress. If you don't have a good foundation before a baby, a child can bring these issues to the surface. But that doesn't mean that your marriage is necessarily doomed if you have a child.

5. "Does this mean you aren't going to pursue a career?"

We live in a world where women can be anything. Women can choose whether or not they want to be a mother. It's OK if a woman doesn't want kids, it's OK if a woman wants to have five kids. It's great if a woman is a career woman, it's great if she wants to stay at home. While there may be tension in the workplace regarding motherhood, we live in a world where woman can have it all. I personally know that being a homemaker is not for me. I believe that I am called to ordained ministry, so I will work even after I have a baby.

6. "Here, take my child."

This is often meant well-meaningly because people think that me being around their kids will make me happy. And it usually does. But, some people think that they will be teaching me a lesson that I don't really want kids because of how hard they can be to take care of. Sorry, your daughter crying is not going to scare me away from motherhood.

7. "You won't be able to afford a child."

No one can really "afford" a child. Yes, having kids is expensive, but there are ways to cut down the costs. For example, we have many friends and family members who currently have little ones. We plan on borrowing or receiving second-hand items (with reasonable safety, of course). We also live near both my husband's parents and mine, so we will be saving money on a babysitter too. It may take some creativity, but when there's a will, there's a way.

8. "You won't have fun anymore."

This may depend on your idea of fun. Personally, I enjoy family-friendly events now. I also know that I can still hang out with friends, go to concerts, or go out to eat even after motherhood. I just won't be doing it as often.

9. "Relax"

Seriously, "relax" is the least relaxing thing you can say. It just is. Besides, that's not going to solve all of my infertility. While relaxing can help you get through infertility emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, you may still need medical intervention. You wouldn't tell someone with a different serious medical issue to solve it simply by relaxing, so why would you tell me that?

10. "You're making such a big deal out of this"

You're right, I am making a big deal out of this. Having a family is a big dream of mine and my husband. Infertility is heartbreaking and takes a toll on you physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, and socially. It's a huge part of my life right now and I want to share this with the people in my life.