“Hey there Mr. Grumpy Gills! Do you want to know what you got to do when you’re feeling down?” Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming! What do we do? We swim.” – Dory.

Hey there! This message is for you, you so called slackers, you over achievers, and even you ‘no-fucks-given’ proclaimers. Been there. Done that. Lately, I’ve felt like the whirly-twirly girl, the one who doesn’t know her left from right. At least, that’s how I thought I seemed. She’s the seemingly ordinary girl, running from twisters looking down her yellow brick road and clicking her heels. The girl who unknowingly is the leading lady on the brink of disaster only to discover she has the tools to turn catastrophe into triumph.

The truth is, we’re all a little lost. I’m proud of my imprint in this world so far. I know my left from right…most days. Insecurities live in us all. I won’t list them, or ask you to. I know the thing that makes you clench your teeth, shake your head and shrink in your seat. Self-doubt is a deterrent. You know those days that are so bad it’s comical? Ever have those? Surely, a perfectly shaped dark cloud must be looming overhead. Malicious in its downpour of grief and havoc.

Don’t surrender to the aching, bottomless pit of doom feeling. Anything keeping you from believing in yourself and the possibilities ahead is not worth your time. True…life isn’t fair. If it we would our dogs as fiercely and blindly as they love us.

Whether you’re experiencing an up or down phase of your life, we can all agree life is unpredictable. You figure out what is necessary and what is important to you and basically have to learn to juggle. Maybe you’re at a point in your life where you’re testing the waters of something new or you’re struggling with life’s curveballs. Maybe, all the good and bad things happen all at once. Life is cyclical, and the thing is, you never know what you’re going to get. It can be frustrating, exciting, nerve-provoking, boring, or all of the above. I decided even on my worst days I wanted to go in the direction of my best outcome. Here are my secrets on tapping into positivity and finding sparks of possibility within the littlest of things.

1. You must live in the present

"But Danielle my life sucks right now, how can I be present?"

I get it. Your boss hates you, your guy/girl left, and basically your life is like a sad country song.

Being present is a daily mindset. When you wake up, throughout the day, and before you go to sleep you can have a moment of fulfillment. These reminders should be flexed daily like your rock star biceps.

2. Gratitude

Daily reflection of the good in your life is a powerful thing.

Try meditation or take a lap, this helps to collect your thoughts and refocus

Learn positive self-talk.

For example:

Instead of telling yourself "I'm so stupid", try saying "I could do better."

"I don’t have blank yet, but I have the tools to obtain it."

"As for me, I’m taking the high road."

3. Give yourself a reality check

Define the problem. If you can't solve it on your own, seek professional help and support of supportive family and friends, and professional help. Asking for help is as brave as offering help is gracious. If you have the courage to stare the problem in the face and acknowledge it you’re half way there. Own your mistakes. Therein lies the foundation of your redemption.

4. Enjoy the little things

Especially in moments of rest.You may be stressed out at work or frustrated with someone at home but you have to learn to compartmentalize so you don’t displace grievances where it’s undeserved.

5. Be Kind

We will never know if people are doing the best they can or not but we make the generous assumption that people are trying their hardest. Click the link below to see the video that inspired me to live with boundaries, compassion, empathy and generosity:

Brene Brown Boundaries, Empathy, and Compassion

6. Be Tenacious

Maintain a positive attitude in times of struggle. Give yourself permission to be the best, truest version of yourself. The version that is willing to fail in order to win.

Here are some tips:

Let go of the everyday pressures and jam out to a good song.

Recognize hard times will pass. Think of your struggle as an opportunity for growth.

To improve your situation, you need to take action to change. Don’t wait to be rescued.

Mind over matter – even if you’re just improving your perception or people’s perception of you. Focus on what is going right and build on that.

7. Look ahead

Learn from past mistakes and think of the next move. Focus on what you're able to do now that will evidentially help you down the line to reach your ultimate goal. Not every aspiration can be achieved with a big leap. Ask yourself what you can do now that will get you to the next step.

Enjoy the journey. Remind yourself daily that accomplishing goals and meeting milestones is a process.

Berne Brown's twist on “Theodore Roosevelt, The Man in the Arena" speech exemplifies the point of perseverance I'm trying to make.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

If you show up and are seen, if you go into the arena, if you create, if you want to be courageous, you will get your ass kicked — that is the one guarantee.

Dr. Brown’s new philosophy on criticism:
If you’re not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.
If you have constructive criticism you want to give me, I want it.
But, if you’re in the cheap seats, not putting yourself on the line, and just talking about how I can do it better, I’m not interested in your feedback.”

Not giving up means falling. It means failing. Not giving up means practicing, and growing pains, and maybe even awkward moments. We all can relate and the beautiful thing is we don't have to be ashamed. Stepping out of your comfort zone is a necessity in order to do new things. Life is full of challenges regardless of who you are. Whether you're rising to the occasion, staying dormant, or knocking on doors, the choice is always yours to fight or do nothing. So give it all you got. Never give up. Keep swimming.