All throughout my senior year of high school, every time the question about my "future plans" came up, I had a moment of panic. I had no idea what I was doing, but I felt I had to tell people something.

You see, there's a certain order of things in America, and everybody's life is supposed to take the exact same path at the exact same time. High school, college, engagement, stellar job, on-track career, a white picket fence with a dog and two kids. I never felt like I was on track for that path, but I always felt like I needed to be. Right after high school, I took an internship with a non-profit in Ohio, and that’s as far as I had planned. I didn't really know what I wanted to be.

I felt an immense pressure to live the way society wanted me to, to have all the events of my life strung along in the proper order, but it’s never worked out that way. My life’s never fit into the little box that society dictates. My first year or so after graduation was no exception.

Instead of going to college the fall after I graduated, I published my second novel and got two jobs, one in foodservice and one in retail. When everyone I had graduated with was learning how to write a college paper and how many meals their room and board plans covered, I was learning how to make a smoothie and that the customer was always right. When my peers were navigating college hallways and classrooms for the first time, I was navigating the real world. My gap year(s) taught me a lot of things, the most important thing being that my life is not held captive by the rules of society.

Why is it that gap years seem to have some kind of negative stigma attached to them? I have to admit, most of it came from myself. At first, I felt as though I was somehow doing something wrong, and I mumbled something about “just working” whenever someone asked me what I was up to.

“Just working.” With those two words, I said to the world that I knew I wasn’t living up to their standards and I felt ashamed about it.

But why? Why is it so unusual to take a couple years to grow up before making one of the biggest financial investments in your future that you’ll ever make? Why is it weird to come to college with work experience, life experience? I was already an adult when I left for college. The maturity I gained in those two years, and the transfer scholarship I received from taking classes online while I was still figuring things out put me in a better place to start college than I would have been in had I gone right after graduating.

Undoubtedly some are ready for college right after high school, but I wasn’t one of them. I spent too long pretending I was.

To the graduating high school class of 2016,

If you don’t know what you’re doing with your life, that’s okay. If you work for a few months and live life, and you don’t know if you want to go to college this year, or even at all, it’s okay. You can go to business school or beauty school. Not everyone needs a four-year degree. You can be a welder or a painter. You could be a landscape artist or a plumber. You could start your own business or you could write a book. You could work your way up the ranks of retail and become the expert in coffeemakers and ovens. You don’t have to go for a four-year degree. They’re not for everybody, so don’t let anyone pressure you into thinking so.

If you already know what you're going to do, then that's great! But if you don't, that's great too! It means you can take some time to organize your thoughts and figure out who you are, and live life while you pick something to work toward. Take a deep breath. You're not the first one who graduated without a clue. And you won't be the last.

Love,

Shannon