Listen, I know what you’re thinking: “How could you be so dumb to not know someone was pretending to be someone they weren’t?!” My answer? Blind optimism, endless curiosity, and catfishes are really good at what they do!!
Without getting too in depth, here’s how I got catfished: At fourteen years old, I made an Instagram just like every other freshman in high school at the time. For a while I was only being followed by friends from school until at one point I started attracting followers who were strangers. One follower that I didn’t know caught my minimally selective teenage eye that would fall in love with any boy with a heartbeat. We got to talking every day. He would tell me about everything: how much he hated his job, how cool his brother was, and everything in between. At times I was skeptical, but I never really thought anything skeptical of his story; the only strange thing to me was that he really thought his brother was the coolest guy to walk this planet. Long story short, we were talking for two months until one day I sent him a text saying his name, Ben. I guess that made him so uncomfortable that it prompted him to confess his whole life story to me and reveal that he was not, in fact, Ben, but, YOU GUESSED IT, Ben’s “super cool” brother. I officially cut off all communication at that point not because I had anything wrong with Ben’s brother, but I have a very low tolerance for liars.
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But that wasn't the end of it. I sat in my room for days wondering how someone was able to pull a fast one on me. I always thought I had a very good gauge for sketchy stories. I can generally tell when someone is being dishonest. And with “Ben,” I did pick up on inconsistencies in his story and his strange infatuation with his brother. But I was and still am a hopeless romantic and apparently love by Instagram was an intriguing story to tell my future children about how their father and I met.
When I asked “Ben” why he catfished me, he said that he had tried to get in contact with me before as his true self, but I never answered; however, I did respond to “Ben.” I had no recollection of this, but I wasn’t going to discount his feelings. He went on to tell me that “the pretty girl never goes for the ugly guy.” This happened almost six years ago and that line still hurts my heart to think about. How could someone think that they were not worthy enough to talk to me because of something so superficial? Though he and Ben didn't look alike, when I did have a conversation with the real Ben, he didn't even stand a chance against his brother.
It took me a while to filter through my afterthoughts about the situation. Who was to blame? Me and my naivety or him and his misuse of the Internet? The answer was neither. I blame the poor communication system technology has fostered that makes people feel like they cannot openly communicate with people in real life. Many people like "Ben" feel like the only way to be heard is to reach out to any stranger that will stick around and comfort them and that is really sad. While it’s extremely convenient to be able to get in contact with hundreds of thousands of people at the tip of your fingertips, the fact that “Ben” felt like he couldn’t be himself and had to create a new exterior in order to do so really upset me. Each and every person has a desire to be appreciated for who they truly are and that was “Ben’s” innocent intention. However, if I have learned anything from this experience it is that meaningful conversations should not be had over text. Relationships should not peak over the phone. In order to truly be fulfilled, life and love must be experienced in reality and not virtually.
