I’ve spent the last 6 precious years of my life working at a movie theater. I love my coworkers, I like getting to see movies for free, and I even like the job. However- I can’t help but compile a mental list of things I don’t understand about the customers. I mean, clearly I’m biased because I’m the one behind the counter- so certain things that I find to be obvious, aren’t actually obvious. Still, I feel the need to share this list. Here’s a few things every movie theater employees wishes you knew.

It helps if you’re… specific

When you come up to the counter and simply say “can I get a ticket, a pop and popcorn?”, you’re basically giving me no information at all. Which movie? Do you want me to pick? What time? What size popcorn? Just one kernel? One kernel of popcorn in your hand? Anyway. Just be specific. It saves everyone a little bit of time.

There’s not THAT much to choose from

If you’ve been standing in line for 10 minutes with the menu board staring you in the face- perhaps you could have glanced at it before reaching the counter. Realistically it shouldn’t take you an additional 10 minutes to decide whether you want Twizzler’s or M&M’s.

I haven’t seen every movie

I don’t have a readily available and customized synopsis and review on hand just on the off-chance you’ll request it. I work here, so when I’m not here, I don’t always want to come back to see a movie.

Trailers aren’t 30 minutes long

It’s really not in your best interest to come to a 7:00 show at 7:30 anyway. There’s 7 minutes of previews- after that, you’re late for the movie and I can’t help much.

I can see that your child isn’t under 2 years old

Children under the age of 2 get free admission into the movie. Largely because well, they’re babies. But you’re child is visibly almost 10 years old. I don’t want to laugh at you, but don’t try to convince me that your 4th grader is 18 months old.

I can see that your child is under 17

I can't let your 12 year old into Fifty Shades of Grey on their own. It doesn't matter if you buy their ticket. I don't make the rules but I do find a little bit of enjoyment in kicking kids out of rated "R" movies.

Other than that, here’s a couple of extras: Popcorn is gluten free, we don’t sell chicken nuggets, I can’t leave work to watch the movie with you, and the ticket booth is not a garbage can.