As we grow older, and hopefully wiser, we tend to reflect on not only ourselves, but how we lived our lives up until this current point in time. We look back at past decisions; choices we had made that ended up changing us more than we could have originally imagined. For me, I can think of many defining choices I have made that helped me grow into who I am today. The particular one that first comes to mind, is my decision to join Marching Band. This activity, over four years, taught me so much about myself, others, and life as it consequently helped me to see each of these things through various perspectives.
When I first joined Marching Band, I was a scared and naive kid who felt like I was in way over my head; I probably was. Every added step seemed like a bigger and harder challenge as we had to focus on so many different things at once. I would come home exhausted physically, mentally and sometimes even emotionally. My parents often found me asleep on the floor, where I often crashed when I got home after a long practice. Other times, they would have to repeat themselves because I was so out of it. They even comforted me when I broke down after a really trying day where it just seemed like I had done nothing but mess up, again and again. And they weren't the only ones who supported and helped me when I struggled in the beginning, because I had my section. If it hadn't been for the awesome people in my section, I'm not sure I would have made it through my first year. Maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but I'm so grateful for everything you guys did to help and encourage me to keep going when things got tough. You taught me what great leadership looks like and I can only hope that I lived up to your expectation of what a good leader is.
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Time went on, and what once was hard became muscle memory. My second year was when I learned the fundamentals of healthy breathing and how monumentally easier everything seemed to be when it factored into the drill and into the music. This brought a whole new meaning to the phrase 'work smart, not hard' and also showed the importance of doing things right the first time, so that we didn't have to spend precious time and energy fixing bad habits that we could have initially avoided. I believe this was also the year I realized how important every individual was when it came down to the whole structure of things. When one person quits or has to sit out due to an injury, we have to go over countless drill pages and move people around to fix the hole in the overall spacing. And even though this is a group activity, the band is only as strong as it's weakest player and nothing short of working together by helping each other out will make the band any stronger.
It wasn't until my junior year that I realized how intimidating I came off to some people and how closed off I really was. I'm not exactly sure what it was that made me come off that way. Some people told me it was the way I didn't take crap from anyone, or the way I carried myself. Others suggested it was because I seemed really mature for my age. I think all of those answers were a load of rubbish, because while some of them may be true, they didn't seem like factors that would make me come off as someone to be intimidated of. I always thought it was because I kept to myself for the most part. Now that I think about it, maybe it was my ever present neutral expression. It was also this year, where I believe I had grown the most.
There was particular part of the drill where another girl and I struggled to make our dots. She was twirling her flag while going backwards towards me, while I was going forward between another guard girl and her, while trying not to get clobbered by either one of their flags. Unfortunately, I lost two trombones to that one drill spot. My first trombone suffered from a dented slide and I sent it in. When that happened, I brought in my back-up trombone, which was a family heirloom, and my favorite trombone because of the trigger. When that one got hit, it actually dented the slide and I had to send it in as well. I had to get a back-up trombone for my back-up. Needless to say, I was beyond frustrated and a bit upset. Not at the guard girl who hit my horn, because I knew she was trying her best despite not being able to see me, but at myself and how difficult that drill spot was. Things got worse when I took a hit to my right side, bruising the muscle between my lower ribs. When it happened, I didn't know it was bruised. All I knew, was that it hurt to breathe and that it continued to be that way the rest of the season. Throughout all of this, there was a staff member of whom I owe a whole deal of gratitude and appreciation. You looked out for me when I first started having problems with that page and continued to do so after I was injured. You encouraged me to keep going when the pain seemed unbearable, and kept an eye on me for when I was too stubborn to sit out when I was probably close to collapsing. So Trevor, I'm more grateful to you for your help, support and encouragement than you can possibly imagine. It was because of you that I learned how strong I was. So, thank you.
Finally, senior year came and I faced a new set of battles. First and foremost, I found out that my injury from the year before resulted in nerve damage that I might have to live with for the rest of my life. That was a major blow. Even so, I didn't let it stop me from marching my last show, regardless of how bad it got. And it was the same year that I discovered I wasn't going to get along with everyone within the section, as much as I wanted to, for the sake of everyone else. For those of you who know of whom I speak, I want to apologize profusely, because I know the situation was not ideal and also because a section divided has a hard time succeeding together. So I want to thank you guys for sticking around when the going got tough. You guys gave me the strength and the will to not give up when I was having the worst of days. You guys probably taught me more about a quality character than I could have ever taught you. Most of you managed to stay positive and enthusiastic on the hardest of days and I admire you greatly for that. Don't ever change that about yourselves. I have high hopes for all of you and I hope that we will cross paths again sometime in the future. I could never have asked for a better group of people to call my friends, or better yet, a family. I will always remember you guys fondly.
